My Favorites Albums From 2014

I’m going to do my best to just stick to full length albums. Here we go in  ABC order..

Thrills Tour
Atlantic Thrills – Atlantic Thrills (Almost Ready) – I’ve been a life long fan of music, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I became enamored with local music. Atlantic Thrills was one of the first bands I gravitated towards and it’s not hard to see why. They capture the punk slime sound we crave better than anyone else in New England and that is fully on display on this long awaited debut LP. Besides the music itself and the commaraderie that comes with it, one of the other great things about seeing a favorite band over and over again is becoming accustomed to their signature songs, so when you finally hear their album it sounds like a greatest hits collection – trust me I mean that in the best way possible. For what it’s worth, the alphabet just happens to work this way, but I’m glad this album is up here first because it is indeed my favorite album of the year. #1. I will say Free Pizza’s Boston, MA is a close second though, but we’ll get there when we get there. Top Song: “Lie To Me”

Aus
Ausmuteants – Ausmuteants (AARGHT) – Yes, I’m aware this is an album from 2013, but I first heard it in 2014, so I said fuck it why not just slap it on there. This will happen at least one more time. Top Song: “Tinnitus”. LISTEN:
 http://ausmuteants.bandcamp.com/album/amusements

Ausm
Ausmuteants – Order Of Operation (Goner/AARGHT) –  I just couldn’t get enough of these Aussies. This is just fun, funny garage pop with some vicious keyboards. It sounds like an 80s new wave band that got mixed up in the garage punk scene. You’ll be singing along to these gems all year. In addition to the kickass music, as with the first record, subject matter always slays me. Just listen to “Publicity Stunts.” Top Song: “Freedom Of Information” http://ausmuteants.bandcamp.com/


Fat Creeps – Must Be Nice (Sophomore Lounge/Gnar Tapes) – Your favorite Creeps are at it again and they’re heavier than ever on their debut full-length LP. I’m naturally biased, so the EP will always be my #1, but this is a solid follow up that won’t disappoint FC fans.  Top Song: “Daydreaming” http://fatcreeps.bandcamp.com/album/must-be-nice

Free Pizzaaa
Free Pizza – Boston, MA (BUFU/Feeding Tube) –The title track says it all. This was/is a local anthem for Boston, specifically the Boston underground music scene. I’d never thought I could embrace any notion of civic pride, but this song actually did it for me and it’s always a pleasure hearing it live. Sad to say these slices recently waved good bye to us for their hometown of Miami :(. At least,  we have the music and the memories. Top Song: “Boston, MA” http://freepizzarocks.bandcamp.com/

Gymshorts
Gymshorts – No Backsies (Self-Released) -This was my kick you in the balls, lay back and smoke, chug a 40 in the alley way, fuck you dad album of 2014. Yes, yes eat all of their gymshirts. Fill those little bellies. Top Song: “HEY PARENTS!”  http://gymshorts.bandcamp.com/

NAP
Juan Wauters – N.A.P. North American Poetry (Captured Tracks) – Let me hip you to something, this kewl kat known as Juan Wauters, you may have seen/heard/spiritually merged with the man before in his previous happening, Jackson Heights, Queens, NY’s #1 The Beets. If you doug (ehhhhhhhhhh) The Beets, then you’ll love Juan solo, you’re wack if you don’t. Dude channels The Beatles, Piero, and Los Mockers – the last two are groups Juan hipped me to. It’s like soft, serene Ramones too, if you’re still not convinced. Gotta rep Queens, even though I’ve only been there three or four times. Top Song: “Sanity” http://juanwauters.com/

The Lemons
The Lemons – Hello, We’re The Lemons (Burger/Gnar Tapes/Tripp Tapes) – Holy shit, definitely one of my new favorite bands. It’s hard to not be happy when you hear/see The Lemons. You’re submerged in this little, Lemons world that’s all gooey and yummy it’s like a Cheerios commercial from 40-50 years ago. There’s no bad feelings. SHORT SHORT songs about lemon limes, candy girls, jelly beans, ice cream, kool aid, Chubby Checker! Picture The Archies, The Monkees, The Partridge Family, I think. Perhaps the sweeter more innocent version of their Gnar brethren, The Memories. It’s all that and it’s super sweet and super short. A little injection of sugary pop. It’s so quick you want it to keep going, but it leaves as quick as it came. It’s that fast high, that five second orgasm, that day you discovered you had five bucks left in your pocket. When life hands you lemons, eat em’ up, eat all the sweets up and get those cavities, it’s worth it.
Believe the hype! Top Song: “My Candy Girl” http://thelemons.bandcamp.com/

Littlefoot
Littlefoot – Night Of The Living Dreams (BUFU) –  2014 was the first time I saw or even heard of Littlefoot. I can remember it like it was just last year. I remember seeing them open the Atlantic Thrills album release show and screaming to Glen HEY! they have that sound I love, it’s like Earth Angel and shit! All of those odes to golden oldies are heavily on display here, Erica is on top of it, she’s done her homework and the extra credit assignment. Surf on some dreamy pop waves with this album. Top Song: “Worrydoll” http://littlefootlittlefoot.bandcamp.com/

Marty
The Marty Kings – XVII (Self-Released) – Yeah, yeah, yeah, this isn’t from 2014. I told you this would come up again and I’m a man of my word. Well, I first heard this thang just this October and it’s too fucking fantastic for me not include it. I was cruising around with those sweet ass Nice Guys and I thunk what the funk is this? It’s so bubblegummy and poppy, but in that raw, off kilterish way I always luv. Those boys informed me that this was the mastmerind Andy Macbain, the man behind Tunnel Of Love and another band you’ll be seeing on here very shortly… Top Song: “Little Arthur”  http://themonsieurs.bandcamp.com/album/xvii

Memories hot
The Memories – Hot Afternoon (Burger/Gnar Tapes) – I had/have a huge boner for last year’s Love Is The Law and it’s lasted longer than four hours. Here we are again in 2014 and the vibes are still groovin’. It’s the same spirit, a bit funkier and even more laid back. If Love’ was the 60s, then Hot is the 70s. Do it up. Top Song: “Dad’s Not Home” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE_vAq1wRO4

The Monsieurs LP
The Monsieurs – The Monsieurs (Black Gladiator/Slovenly) –  This is pure, primal rock ‘n’ roll slime with a splash of punk and a pinch of pop. Real pop, bubblegummy in your tummy fun. Innocence… well not so innocent. It’s fun to be bad and this is about as badass as it gets. Various Boston garage legends here maintain their reputation and lurk the streets of beantown to fight again and again and again. Top Song: “Kari Ann”  http://slovenly.bandcamp.com/album/the-monsieurs

NOTS
NOTS – We Are NOTS (Goner) – You can never go wrong with Goner. Some kids way back said Memphis was dead, but damn it sure as hell is alive on this record. NOTS is straight up no holds barred fun with violent keyboards to add fuel to the fire. It’s one of those bestial sounds that makes me climb on top of the refrigerator and hop off like I’m five years old again, much to the chagrin of the folks downstairs. TOP SONG: “Insect Eyes” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yvjewj28wU

The_Orwells_-_Disgraceland
The Orwells – Disgraceland (Atlantic/Canvasback) – I’ve heard a lot of talk about this being too clean and commercial in comparison to their previous LP Remember When. Fair, but honestly it’s not that much cleaner and as far as I’m concerned The Orwells have always been mershy, radio friendly in a way, in a FABULOUS way. These feel like radio songs. Hit songs. One after another (some definitely stronger than others). Even when these dudes were fourteen and trying to sound like Black Lips and Back From the Grave comps, they still sounded rather accessible. You could see what they were going for and how they completely drove past it. That isn’t to say I think they’re better than the Lips or whoever, it’s just that even when they were a garage band they didn’t really sound like one. Whatever it is, they hit it right and they have the songs, the talent, and the live show to back it up. TOP SONG: “Blood Bubbles” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g87QQ4RX_KU

Ty man
Ty Segall – Manipulator (Drag City) – Ty again, big surprise buddy! Yes, Ty is back on my year end lists. There are no surprises here, there shouldn’t be. We rep the shit we love all year long and admittedly most of them fall under similar genres, hail from the same regions, and appear on the the same or similar labels. I’m okay with that, while I always love expanding there is such little time on this planet I intend to spend it with the music I love. As much as I dug Ty’s all acoustic effort in last year’s Sleeper, I’m really happy to see the dude rocking out once again. This is his longest monstrosity to date and while it’s not the same fuzz of early Segall, he maintains his true flavor and destroys. TOP SONG: “Feel” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4VA-b5ORxI

Now hold up, before y’all pack up your shit and leave, I must give a massive shout out to all of the KLYAM Records releases we love and are insanely proud to have put out in 2014. More cumming in 2015….

KLYAM-002: Nice Guys/Miami Doritos Splifft 7″
Nice Guys cover
http://niceguys666.bandcamp.com/album/splifft-7

KLYAM-003: Back Pages Singles 13 TAPE
BackPagesSingles13
http://klyam.bigcartel.com/product/back-pages-singles-13

KLYAM-004: The Electric Street Queens – Live From Your Dreams, We’re The Electric Street Queens TAPE
ESQ-COVER
http://electricstreetqueens.bandcamp.com/

All releases available here: http://klyam.bigcartel.com/, at the the following Boston area record stores: Deep Thoughts in Jamaica Plain, Weirdo Records in Cambridge, and Armageddon Records in Cambridge, and at all KLYAM Presents shows.

That’s all folks!

My Top Ten Favorite Shows of 2014…

I know this sounds like bullshit and I do say it every year, but each year gets better. I’d be lying if I said 2014 was the best year of my life, but as far as KLYAM goes it was definitely the best year for KLYAM. Every year does get better, just look at our label. We put out three more releases that we’re very proud of – Nice Guys/Miami Doritos Splifft 7″, Back Pages – Singles 13, and The Electric Street Queens – Live From Your Dreams, We’re The… and we have more on the way. Just look at our calendar, we went to more shows than ever this year. I counted 85 shows I attended this year, I know for some people that’s nothing, but considering I’m not in a band, I don’t have a car, I’m broke, and don’t live in the city, I’d say that’s pretty good. But hey, it’s not quantity, it’s quality (though we got both!), so here’s my top ten favorite shows from 2014:


10) The Orwells & Twin Peaks @ Great Scott (3/4) – Our dudes, The Orwells always put on a fantastic show and we saw them three times this year, but the Great Scott set was by far the best. Right up against the stage where the action is, no douchebag security guys or broseph stalins, just straight up fun. Oh and who could forget Mario hucking the mic stand into the crowd. Classic. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/04/05/review-the-orwells-twin-peaks-great-scott-3414/

Thieves Grotto
9) TIE: Nice Guys & Miami Doritos Tour Kick Off w/ Malportardo Kids and Grave Ideas & Nice Guys, Free Pizza, Ladybones, Dinoczar, both @ Thieves Grotto (2/28 & 11/21, respectively) – This is just one big shout out to the Grotto and Nice Guys. Nice Guys are honorary klyamers and so are Miami Doritos, and we love Free Pizza, we’ll miss those Miami boys. Ahh so much Miami! Guys, pizza, doritos. All the bands are named after food! Haha, but ya Thieves Grotto throws the most insane basement shows and it’s always a party. I wish every show was like these shows. KLYAM Review (2/28): https://klyam.com/2014/03/22/review-nice-guys-miami-doritos-tour-kick-off-thieves-grotto-22814/ & (11/21): https://klyam.com/2014/11/26/nice-guys-free-pizza-thieves-grotto-112114/

Cumstain Boston
8) Cumstain, Free Pizza, Gangbang Gordon (BUFU Tape Release), White Pages @ JP Drive In (8/24) – I still haven’t gotten over this show, not even just the show itself, but the very fact that it happened. Call me crazy, call me wild, call me a cocksucker, I don’t give a fuck. I’ve been waiting to see this band for four years now, I still can’t believe it. It was awesome to finally meet the stains themselves as well. This show is also significant because it was the first KLYAM Presents show in nearly a year and it was my homie, Gangbang Gordon’s BUFU tape release show. Cheers buddy. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/09/20/review-cumstain-free-pizza-gangbang-gordon-tape-release-white-pages-jp-drive-in-82414/

NO NO
7) Nobunny, The Hussy, The Fagettes, Banditas, Gangbang Gordon @ Middle East Upstairs (2/4) – NO NO needs NO introduction. It’s always a blast seeing the bunnyman in action, especially in front of a rowdy, sold out Boston crowd filled with tons of my friends. Solid set of openers including one of my favorites, The Hussy, whom made both their Boston and KLYAM debut. A highly memorable show that brought us some joy and warmth in the middle of a shivering, cold ass winter. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/02/15/review-nobunny-the-hussy-fagettes-banditas-gangbang-gordon-mid-east-upstairs-2414/

Lipss
6) Black Lips & Natural Child @ Paradise (4/19) – Of course, my favorite band, Black Lips, of course you’d see them here and you’ll see them again my friends. At last, I can finally put them on my year end lists again; we haven’t seen the flower punkers live since 2011. WHATT?! This was also my first time seeing Natural Child, yet another band I’ve been anticipating seeing for years. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/05/31/review-black-lips-natural-child-paradise-41914/

Lipskkbbq
5) Black Lips, The King Khan & BBQ Show, Coke Weed @ Port City Music Hall (9/27) –  I always love seeing a show at a venue I’ve never been to before, even if it’s a traditional music hall, it’s still new to me. I haven’t been in Portland (Maine) for a while, so that’s an added bonus. More importantly, this is a KLYAMER’s wet dream bill. Two giants of contemporary garage slime, straight up Rock ‘n’ Roll all in one night. Definitely some of best I’ve seen from the Lips and KKBBQ in years. No KLYAM Review, because my dog ate it. Do kids still say that?

Ty Great Scott
4) Ty Segall, La Luz, Boytoy @ Great Scott (9/19) – At this point in his career, Ty Segall can and will sell out large clubs, but that wasn’t the case this time. The show was sold out, of course, but it was at Great Scott, a relatively small venue. This is Ty here. I never thought I’d see him on that small stage. It was nuts. A vicious set with tunes from all over his career. Why can’t all my favorites just stop here? No bigger clubs (except Middle East). Ty’s the face of our rock ‘n’ roll and this show is a testament that Boston loves him. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/10/06/review-ty-segall-la-luz-boytoy-great-scott-91914/

Fall Tour
3) Black Lips, The King Khan & BBQ Show, The Kominas @ Paradise (9/28) – Christ, what a Black Lips whore. You knew what you were getting into when you started reading this. Night II of my Black Lips/KKBBQ Rock ‘n’ Roll Weekend and as you can probably tell the superior of the two nights. In particular, the Lips shined through cranking out golden oldies such as “I’ve Got A Knife” and “Ain’t No Deal” among other classics from all over their fifteen year reign of terror. These Atlantans were as feisty as ever (including newcummer/oldcummer Jack Hines, welcome back Jack!). Speaking of bodily fluids, never thought I’d see Cole peeing in his mouth again, damn I thought that was over after 2006 haha. Best of all, the Lips and KKBBQ merged as one and performed as the gospel supergroup, The Almighty Defenders. I SAW THE LIGHT. Oh and we got to enjoy a beer with some of the guys backstage, also something I’d never expect at the Paradise. I told Jared that I lost my virginity while The Spooks were playing in the background, which is true, he said “Well, cheers to that!”  Yes, cheers.

Dusk
2) Atlantic Thrills (Album Release), Ravi Shavi, Gymshorts, Littlefoot @ Dusk (2/1) – Providence consistently dishes out the wildest shows and this was total debauchery, one of the craziest shows I’ve ever seen. While, I don’t think anyone was hurt (though I had several bruises) I do mean crazy. The word gets tossed around all too often, but this one is up there. Pandemonium. At the very least, just good old fashioned fun. Whether it was all the nudity, moshing, silly string, beer flying, or simply singing along to all the songs we’ve come to know and love, it was a special little feeling you don’t get often and if I could trap it in a bottle and sell it to all of ya’ll, I’d be a billionaire.  And we KLYAMERS have really been waiting for this record to come out, three years now. An epic show with stellar opening sets might I add. What we call in my line of work  a “stacked line up.” Keep up the craziness in 2015 and beyond. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/02/10/review-atlantic-thrills-album-release-show-w-ravi-shavi-gymshorts-littlefoot-dusk-2114/

BUFU sch
1) BUFU Fest @ Cambridge Elks Lodge (4/25 & 4/26) – I’ve been to a few local music festivals now, but this one tops them all. Easily the closest to what a KLYAM Fest would look like (Fuzzstival is a close second though). A wide variety of acts being thrust in your face. One moment you’re rocking out to the Nice Guys, the next you’re singing along to ACLU Benefit’s one man show, then the next minute you’re shouting about “living in Boston, Massachusetts” with Free Pizza or you’re caught in a mosh with Guerrilla Toss. I’m ready to do it all over again this year. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/06/14/bufu-fest-recap-425-2614/

So, that’s that. As I said before, there were a ton of excellent shows I/we attended this year, I could make an honorable mentions list, but the list would go on and on. At the very least, here’s a list of my favorite bands I saw for the first time in 2014 in chronological order: Littlefoot, The Hussy, The Sulk Scouts, Buttercup, Tacocat, Durt Dog The Band, Natural Child, Juan Wauters, ACLU Benefit, The Ar-Kaics, Beach Toys, Robot Death Kites, Black Beach, The Lemons, Cumstain, (New England) Patriots, Ben Katzman’s DeGreaser, Good Nature (formerly known as Phaze), Ausmuteants, Ursula, Show Me The Body, Buck Gooter, Big Buck Hunter, and Feral Jenny.

Show Review: The Monsieurs (Record Release!), Free Pizza, Nice Guys @ Club Bohemia (12/5/14)

The Monsieurs LP
Bands: The Monsieurs, Free Pizza, Nice Guys
Date: Friday, December 5, 2014
Venue:Club Bohemia (Cantab Lounge basement) in Cambridge, MA

Nice Guys – Sheeet, I’ve never seen Club Bohemia (the Cantab Lounge basement) so packed, it must be sold out. People are using their heads for once in this crazy old world. Coming out to support a killer local rock ‘n’ roll show. This here is easily three of the best rock ‘n’ roll animals in the land of Boston on tap. Kicking it off right is our KLYAM Records bad boiz, Nice Guys, so I guess they actually aren’t bad boiz or maybe they are because everything is backwards in this crazy old world. Good means bad, stop means go, thou shalt not kill… unless you really, really feel like it. But, these guys here, they wouldn’t kill a fly, unless it flew into one of their bongs ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. SHUT UP!

Nice Guys errr ahhh here we go, these cats, these guys rumble. A swift kick in the nads. That’s their music. If you wanted a description, that’s what you’re going to get. That feeling you get when you get kicked square in the nads, it’s like that, but pull back a little. It’s that full on attack, but without the pain and misery. Needless to say Jake, Matt, Alex, and Cam make it personal. They get right in your grill. They get it right.

Lord knows what the fuck I am talking about at this point, but it’s all about the emotion. Stuttering fucking Stanley. The fucking emotion. It’s all there and yet it’s not sappy at all or sensitive in any way. In fact, so much music isn’t the Nice Guys, that it feels great when you hear the Nice Guys, because it’s like a vacation from all the other shit. With Nice Guys, it’s about the rockin’, the sockin’, and maybe a bit of thee olde shockin’. You don’t take a Nice Guys song and win back your girlfriend by plinking it on acoustic guitar. Buttt, there is far more to life than just smoking and fucking and partying. True. Well, actually is there? Yes, there is, I suppose. Christ, I’m so indecisive. Maybe, if we all just got really fucked together, we’d all be okay. It’s a thought.

I have to catch myself before diving too far into a nonsensical rant. Nice Guys is where we left off, those cream muffins. They sing and scream about bad cops. “Fuck the Police, fuck racist cops” says vocalist/guitarist Alex as they rock into “Cop Walk.” True that brother. Alex is a ruffian and he makes his way into the crowd and all around the place, even literally playing “in a hallway in a basement.” Yeah!

The dudes play my favorite Nice Guys song “Jamaican Vacation,” which Glen and I have been waiting to hear for quite some time. Not just because it’s on the piece of wax we put out, but because it’s one of the heaviest and angriest in their set and it lifts right off – it’s a tickling riff. FAST FUN FUCKING NOISE! Thanks for playing it and being Nice Guys, you fucks. Listen to this shit: http://niceguys666.bandcamp.com/album/splifft-7

Free Pizza – Sadly, yes y’all must already know our beloved Free Pizza is leaving us and if you don’t know, then now you do.

Free Pizza, along with Nice Guys and Monsieurs, are top tier Boston rock ‘n’ roll and I want you to know that. If you miss their show before they head back to Miami,FL, then you missed out son.

For their song “Freedom Forty,” they always grab a punk from the crowd to sing guest vocals. This time it’s our bad boi Timothy Manns and he belts out the vocals hardcore style like a pro. That’s Tim and that’s Free Pizza, for the people, we are the people. I hugged Free Pizza Santiago and told him he was my rock ‘n’ roll comrade. It’s true, you all are. Nick and Jesus too. I know I’ll see you guys again, but here’s a shout out: http://freepizzarocks.bandcamp.com/

The Monsieurs – And now the main event. THE MONSIEURS ARE HERE. Yo, and it’s their self-titled record release! Yeah, pick up that puppy from Black Gladiator or Slovenly. I’ve been eagerly waiting to hear this monster, I’m gushing with excitement. This is the cream of the crop as far as Boston rock ‘n’ roll goes. They’ve got the sludge, the slime, and all the hooks to back it up. The band on record is a blast to the balls, for sure, but the live show is a whole new beast. I’ve only seen the band twice for some reason, once at the Brighton Music Hall (opening for King Khan & The Shrines) and another time at Church for Illegally Blind’s Boston En Masse. Both times, they sounded sweet, but the crowd was sparse and mellow. Tonight, it’s a different story.

Andy Macbain (vocals, also of Tunnel Of Love/Marty Kings), Hilken Mancini (guitar, also of Shepherdess/Fuzzy/Marty Kings), an Erin King (drums, also of Where My Beat Be At) all together are a menacing machine of mighty punk slime proportions. It’s a KLYAM man’s kind of band. Erin and Hilken rock out on the tiny Club Bohemia stage, as Andy Macbain (shirtless, reppin’ a black leather jacket though) prowls his way into a sea of bodies. He often does this with the whole mic stand in hand, it’s his weapon, as he takes on the world. Man, never cracks a smile, he’s on business. Like GG says “My mind is a machine gun, my body is the bullets, the audience is the target.” AIM! Andy is like GG, if GG never actually went through with all the messy stuff. If GG just put the vibe out there, but never went through with his antics. He’s a force, the rock ‘n’ roll animal.

Initially the crowd is stiff, but as Andy slithers around, he ignites a mosh pit. He even crowd surfs; it’s probably the most successful crowd surfing I’ve ever seen. Teamwork. Most of the time people fuck up.

Well, well this show really hit the spot and I walk away jovially carrying my new Monsieurs record! If you haven’t heard this thang or seen the band live, you have some serious homework to attend to. Don’t make me tell you twice. http://themonsieurs.bandcamp.com/

TALL JUAN New BUFU Single / Show In JP With Free Pizza, Nice Guys, Petey

That’s a loaded headline but we all know Tall Juan of Queens is worthy. For many, it’s an introduction to the man, the waste-no-time punk pop charmer. Falling Down is his latest single, out now on BUFU Records. To celebrate the occasion, he’ll be playing right here in Jamaica Plain house show style next Thursday, December 18. The openers couldn’t be more exciting and a little bit sad. Free Pizza will be playing their last Boston show before they move their inspiring homefront to the Miami area. They’ve been making it rain so to speak around here for the past few years, always being a most fun-loving live band and good people to boot. Wish ’em luck! Our partners in Wax and IceHouse, Nice Guys are on this thing, too, with your childhood friends Petey from North Carolina.

FB EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/1609168429312586/

Live Review: Nice Guys & Free Pizza @ Thieves Grotto (11/21/14)

Nice 7

Heyyooo hey hey, it’s the Thieves Grotto’s 69th anniversary or something like that. Hats off to those straight shooters and all the memories they have created over the years. I saw the Nice Guys and Miami Doritos tour kick off at this very place some time ago, that was a tasty swell if I ever saw one. Now, here we are November 21, 2014. Crazy to believe it’s twenty fourteen. Wild times. The police are trying to kill me, Ted Bundy’s been laughing at me, Charles Manson’s getting married and I’m not getting laid! It’s not even Thanksgiving and I already feel full. Luckily, there’s a show, several shows on the horizon. Time to kick back and rock and/or roll with some of my favorite bands, local and otherwise.

This is my second time here at Thieves Grotto and tonight is a flashback to my first experience, those equally frigid times circa February 2014. Indeed, I froze my ass off on the walk here, wearing merely my leather jacket and my Cumstain shirt beneath. Ironically, one of my cleanest dirty shirts. I kept the attire on the lower end, having remembered how sweaty this place can be in the midst of all the hysteria. Most basements can get toasty at times, but hell this place is body to body packed, so it gets HOT, especially during the sets.

The Grotto has their shit down pat, a whole crew. Right as you walk in they’re right there at the door for the donations. On top of their shit and rightfully so cause this place is huge in a way. Its as if this is a scene from some hip, mumblecore flick and the director wants to capture a house show. It’s the Great Scott of basements, if you will, housing rosy cheeked, eager students and a series of twenty somethings whining about the work week, desperately missing their own college days of yesteryear.

Upon my arrival, Lady Bones are blasting away and they sound decent. I can’t see much if anything, however, so I virtually miss their set. Apparently, Dinoczar has also played as well. This place takes their set times seriously, on top of their shit.

Fortunately, KLYAM Records’ own Nice Guys are up next. Before they begin, a young gent busts out a few acoustic tunes and some beats including a cover of the Chili Peppers “Under The Bridge,” which riles up the anticipating crowd. I didn’t catch his name, but if you attended the show and know who he is or you are him (what up), then by all means let us know.

Off to Nice Guys! Damn, I love those few seconds before a crazy set is about to begin. It’s like being on a rollercoaster and getting strapped in for the ride. You can see where the ride will take you and it’s about to set off any second, but this very moment is exhilarating all by itself. The moment of anticipation.

The dudes kick it off with a new banger that is as feisty and catchy as ever and as I suspected, the crowd goes ballistic. It’s non-stop, slamming and blamming back and forth to all your favorite Nice Guys hits and one Andy Kaufman number where the Soul Eater shines.  I TRUSTED YOU. The moshing is a lot of fun and it really makes the songs that much more enjoyable. I’ve seen 20+ Nice Guys shows and unfortunately I can’t say all of them are this nuts. That isn’t a knock against the band at all, but even in basements audience appreciation is typically much mellower. Here, you could be tossed from one side of the room to the other and I love it. So do, the Nice Guys themselves, thanking the Grotto on several occasions throughout their performance.

Cheers to more off the wall Nice Guys shows in the future (leans back and pounds 40 ouncer). Now you’ve heard it from me before and you’ll hear it again, pick up the Nice Guys/Miami Doritos Splifft 7″ from KLYAM Records: http://niceguys666.bandcamp.com/album/splifft-7

Free Pizza – Dayemmm son, first Nice Guys, now Free Pizza, dayemmm, devour these mouth watering slices before it’s too late. Yep, Free Pizza, one of Boston’s finest and a personal favorite are leaving us very soon for Miami, FL :( .  Now, there’s teardrops on my pillow and telephone, I cried for four hours last night. As they (and Nancy Kerrigan) say WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? But, it’s alright, at least we have these last few, precious shows. COME ON EVERYBODY, LET’S HAVE SOME FUN! It felt like a caps locks kind of moment.

The Free Pizzas – Jesus, Santiago, and Nick open their set with a cover of Ramones’ “Havana Affair.” Crazy song, crazy lyrics, just reminds me of how fucked up the Ramones really were. At least, it’s not as disturbing as “53rd and 3rd.”

Much like every band that apparently plays at Thieves Grotto, the kids are flippin’ and floppin’ about during Free Pizza. Though, it’s not as rambunctious as it was during Nice Guys or I’m in a less chaotic place in the basement, who knows? I have a nice spot right up front, holding on to one of the amps for dear life.

Songs about Boston, Massachusetts, ducks, and love ensue. Good times had by all. See these slices before they are eaten by that Miami monster I call Ricky Martin. http://freepizzarocks.bandcamp.com/

They’re playing with Nice Guys and The Monsieurs on Friday, December 5th at the Cantab Lounge for The Monsieurs Record Release: https://www.facebook.com/events/542009525942992/  HOLY SMOKES! BATMAN THAT’S A GOOD SHOW!

Review: Cumstain, Free Pizza, Gangbang Gordon (Tape Release), White Pages @ JP Drive In (8/24/14)

Cumstain Boston
Flyer by Christine Moore
Bands: Free Pizza, Cumstain, Gangbang Gordon, White Pages
Date: Sunday, August 24, 2014
Venue: JP Drive In (Jamaica Plain, MA)

FUCK YESSS! Cumstain in Boston! We’ve been huge Cumstain fans for the last four years, so this is truly a triumphant day in KLYAM history. A dear diary moment indeed. I had visions of seeing the band play in a dank, crowded basement and NOW for once my fantasies have cum true!

White Pages – White Pages kick the show in the balls with a BANG. Not my favorite garage rawk band around these parts, but they fit in well with the crew tonight; fast, sloppy, out of tune punk rock. Songs are over before you even knew they began. I wish they were a little bit more distinctive, but I appreciate the ramshackle. I also get a kick out of the band’s self deprecating attitude. “You couldn’t possibly hate us as much as we hate ourselves.” Haha. http://whitepages.bandcamp.com/

Gangbang Gordon – Shit, if you thought White Pages were nutty then you’re in for a shocker. If the name alone didn’t scare you away (which it shouldn’t), brace yourself for America’s greatest cultural train wreck, GANGBANG GORDON! Culturally Irrevelerent that is. That’s GBG’s tape (out now on BUFU Records) and this is his tape release show. Did you get all that?

Gordon and his fellow gangbangers, which includes a rockin’ Sydney Kinchen on tambourine, are all squeegied together in a tight spot in the basement. This is their first haus show and honestly the best I’ve seen from the group. Not just hoppin’ on the Gangbang train, it’s the best I’ve seen. The sound is smoother, it’s a teeny bit more melodic, and the bangers just feel more at home. For one thing, the vocals are clearer than ever, though I also recognize most of the lyrics, since I’ve watched these little puppies (the songs) grow practically since their inception.

I think they open with “Malt Shop,” a pill poppin’ popper. It’s outsider noise, but there’s also some slamming, traditional punk rock to it. Some of the songs have solid, catchy, head bobbin’ inducing riffs to them (“Life At The ABC,” “I Can Testify,” and “Slide Paper”), but then sometimes those riffs get lost in the madness. I know this is a gangbang, but I’d prefer it if they had more rehearsals. Like they all gang up on a teddy bear or two the night before.

It’s okay though, as I said this is my favorite set from the dudes. When GBG/Gordon/Gangbang/Ted Bundy/ G Spin It/Max Hardcore/GG Gordon Allin/ GG Gordon Liddy/Gangbang Gordon Marshall JK plops into the crowd resting his guitar against his JP Drive By vicdumbs he serenades them with each guitar stroke, giving all their GF’s strokes in the process. They eat up each JP Lick he has to offer.

Cheers buddy, let’s see you and your minions do it again in another rusty basement near you and me and other kids like us in a theater near you and perhaps me, but closer to you. http://gbgordon.bandcamp.com/

Cumstain – WHA WHA WHATTT??? WHAT’S THEIR NAME?!! Chill out bro, it’s cool, EVERYBODY CUMS. In fact, that should be the name of a children’s book: Everybody Cums. From the creators of Everybody Poops…. We’ll teach them while they’re young so we don’t have to deal with all of their PC whining when they grow old. Wipe away all that self-righteous shame in its infancy.

Seriously though, I’m getting the chills. I’ve waited for this for so long. The band opens with White People Problems (2012) classic “I Ain’t Wrong.” Hot dog, we have a weiner. We also hear some newish cuts such as “Dahmer Blues (Gimme Head),” my Grandmother’s favorite Cumstain song. She used to shotgun six busch lights with Jeffrey Dahmer every morning. She’s a trooper.

For the first half of the set, the crowd is kind of swaying about, nodding along, you know politely rockin’ out or whatever that noise is. Erin and Sean then introduce one of Cumstain’s finest tunes “Bachelor’s Life” (from 2010’s Hurry Up and Kill Yourself You Scumbug, Trust Me Your Mother Won’t Miss You) as a song a certain someone (HINT: Expletive Gore Dan) might enjoy… and that sets the crowd off as it oughta. What a banger!

The crowd’s sauced and rowdy, boppin’ and sloppin’ to and fro. The band climaxes with their eponymous #1 hit “Cumstain” (2010) and I hear some folks giggle as Sean sings “I just want to fuck you.”  But, that’s not enough. The people want more. They demand sloppy seconds and we get an encore with “Broke My Dick” (2010) and the bodies keep slamming some more, culminating in a 40 shattering to pieces. It’s just another malt liquor stain on your floor.

A HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks to Cumstain for playing this show on their tour. It was amazing to finally meet Sean and Erin. Boston loves you, pretty please cum back soon!!!

LISTEN!: http://cumstain.bandcamp.com/

Free Pizza – The moshing continues and barely stops for a breather. The crowd goes particularly apeshit during the local rock anthem “Boston, MA.” Surely, it is one of those songs I wish could go on for two hours, if you’re just feeling it. The lyrics center around the happenings of young musicians and music lovers and pretty much anyone else depending on how you take it “living in Boston, Massachusetts.” My favorite line is “chill with the dead in the cemetery.” The dead. Grateful Dead. Haha, I always picture Jesus, Santiago, and Nick chilling with the Grateful Dead in a cemetery when I hear that line. Perhaps their jamming together. Perhaps.

Go see these guys live. There’s no excuse not to, one of the best around town and they play all the time. http://freepizzarocks.bandcamp.com/

THANKS TO ALL THE BANDS THAT PLAYED, BOSTON HASSLE/BODIES OF WATER SHOWS, BUFU RECORDS, AND EVERYONE THAT CAME OUT TO THE SHOW OR WANTED TO!

Don’t leave before checking out this sick vid of Cumstain from the show shot by our dear friend Mr. Melody Matters!

TOMORROW NIGHT: Cumstain, Gangbang Gordon (Tape Release), Free Pizza, White Pages @ JP Drive In

Cumstain Boston
Flyer by Christine Moore
Now, you know we love Cumstain. It’s been a dream of mine for four years now to see the band in the flesh in a packed basement filled with sweaty, drunken hellions. That’s what we have on our plate in front of us Boston. This Sunday at the chillest spot, you will find one Cumstain, Free Pizza, White Pages, and rampant tities sucker, Gangbang Gordon, who will be releasing his debut album via BUFU Records.

Bodies of Waters Shows, BUFU Records, and yours truly KLYAM are throwing down this fiesta tomorrow night on Sunday August 24th. Check it out or else! https://www.facebook.com/events/738454566218338/