Review: Cumstain, Free Pizza, Gangbang Gordon (Tape Release), White Pages @ JP Drive In (8/24/14)

Cumstain Boston
Flyer by Christine Moore
Bands: Free Pizza, Cumstain, Gangbang Gordon, White Pages
Date: Sunday, August 24, 2014
Venue: JP Drive In (Jamaica Plain, MA)

FUCK YESSS! Cumstain in Boston! We’ve been huge Cumstain fans for the last four years, so this is truly a triumphant day in KLYAM history. A dear diary moment indeed. I had visions of seeing the band play in a dank, crowded basement and NOW for once my fantasies have cum true!

White Pages – White Pages kick the show in the balls with a BANG. Not my favorite garage rawk band around these parts, but they fit in well with the crew tonight; fast, sloppy, out of tune punk rock. Songs are over before you even knew they began. I wish they were a little bit more distinctive, but I appreciate the ramshackle. I also get a kick out of the band’s self deprecating attitude. “You couldn’t possibly hate us as much as we hate ourselves.” Haha. http://whitepages.bandcamp.com/

Gangbang Gordon – Shit, if you thought White Pages were nutty then you’re in for a shocker. If the name alone didn’t scare you away (which it shouldn’t), brace yourself for America’s greatest cultural train wreck, GANGBANG GORDON! Culturally Irrevelerent that is. That’s GBG’s tape (out now on BUFU Records) and this is his tape release show. Did you get all that?

Gordon and his fellow gangbangers, which includes a rockin’ Sydney Kinchen on tambourine, are all squeegied together in a tight spot in the basement. This is their first haus show and honestly the best I’ve seen from the group. Not just hoppin’ on the Gangbang train, it’s the best I’ve seen. The sound is smoother, it’s a teeny bit more melodic, and the bangers just feel more at home. For one thing, the vocals are clearer than ever, though I also recognize most of the lyrics, since I’ve watched these little puppies (the songs) grow practically since their inception.

I think they open with “Malt Shop,” a pill poppin’ popper. It’s outsider noise, but there’s also some slamming, traditional punk rock to it. Some of the songs have solid, catchy, head bobbin’ inducing riffs to them (“Life At The ABC,” “I Can Testify,” and “Slide Paper”), but then sometimes those riffs get lost in the madness. I know this is a gangbang, but I’d prefer it if they had more rehearsals. Like they all gang up on a teddy bear or two the night before.

It’s okay though, as I said this is my favorite set from the dudes. When GBG/Gordon/Gangbang/Ted Bundy/ G Spin It/Max Hardcore/GG Gordon Allin/ GG Gordon Liddy/Gangbang Gordon Marshall JK plops into the crowd resting his guitar against his JP Drive By vicdumbs he serenades them with each guitar stroke, giving all their GF’s strokes in the process. They eat up each JP Lick he has to offer.

Cheers buddy, let’s see you and your minions do it again in another rusty basement near you and me and other kids like us in a theater near you and perhaps me, but closer to you. http://gbgordon.bandcamp.com/

Cumstain – WHA WHA WHATTT??? WHAT’S THEIR NAME?!! Chill out bro, it’s cool, EVERYBODY CUMS. In fact, that should be the name of a children’s book: Everybody Cums. From the creators of Everybody Poops…. We’ll teach them while they’re young so we don’t have to deal with all of their PC whining when they grow old. Wipe away all that self-righteous shame in its infancy.

Seriously though, I’m getting the chills. I’ve waited for this for so long. The band opens with White People Problems (2012) classic “I Ain’t Wrong.” Hot dog, we have a weiner. We also hear some newish cuts such as “Dahmer Blues (Gimme Head),” my Grandmother’s favorite Cumstain song. She used to shotgun six busch lights with Jeffrey Dahmer every morning. She’s a trooper.

For the first half of the set, the crowd is kind of swaying about, nodding along, you know politely rockin’ out or whatever that noise is. Erin and Sean then introduce one of Cumstain’s finest tunes “Bachelor’s Life” (from 2010’s Hurry Up and Kill Yourself You Scumbug, Trust Me Your Mother Won’t Miss You) as a song a certain someone (HINT: Expletive Gore Dan) might enjoy… and that sets the crowd off as it oughta. What a banger!

The crowd’s sauced and rowdy, boppin’ and sloppin’ to and fro. The band climaxes with their eponymous #1 hit “Cumstain” (2010) and I hear some folks giggle as Sean sings “I just want to fuck you.”  But, that’s not enough. The people want more. They demand sloppy seconds and we get an encore with “Broke My Dick” (2010) and the bodies keep slamming some more, culminating in a 40 shattering to pieces. It’s just another malt liquor stain on your floor.

A HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks to Cumstain for playing this show on their tour. It was amazing to finally meet Sean and Erin. Boston loves you, pretty please cum back soon!!!

LISTEN!: http://cumstain.bandcamp.com/

Free Pizza – The moshing continues and barely stops for a breather. The crowd goes particularly apeshit during the local rock anthem “Boston, MA.” Surely, it is one of those songs I wish could go on for two hours, if you’re just feeling it. The lyrics center around the happenings of young musicians and music lovers and pretty much anyone else depending on how you take it “living in Boston, Massachusetts.” My favorite line is “chill with the dead in the cemetery.” The dead. Grateful Dead. Haha, I always picture Jesus, Santiago, and Nick chilling with the Grateful Dead in a cemetery when I hear that line. Perhaps their jamming together. Perhaps.

Go see these guys live. There’s no excuse not to, one of the best around town and they play all the time. http://freepizzarocks.bandcamp.com/

THANKS TO ALL THE BANDS THAT PLAYED, BOSTON HASSLE/BODIES OF WATER SHOWS, BUFU RECORDS, AND EVERYONE THAT CAME OUT TO THE SHOW OR WANTED TO!

Don’t leave before checking out this sick vid of Cumstain from the show shot by our dear friend Mr. Melody Matters!

Review: Atlantic Thrills & White Pages @ Video Underground (2/28/14)


Bands: Atlantic Thrills, White Pages
Date: Friday, February 28, 2014
Venue: Video Underground (Jamaica Plain, MA)

Video Underground, I’ve been meaning to be in you for a couple of years now. You are a dying breed. No, actually breathing your last few breaths, sadly. I miss video stores soooo much. I have numerous fond memories of being a child and spending hours in videos stores (big shout out to Video Master in Wakefield, MA!) I rented A Clockwork Orange, Raging Bull, and Blue Velvet as a little kid, imagine me at recess. No wonder I was the odd man out. I also remember being hassled for skeeving my way into the 18 +  section. I was a curious kid hehe. Got a huge kick out of the adults making their awkward purchases hehe.

So yes, it is fantastic to be back inside an actual video store. I heard this place is shutting down or not?  What’s the scoop? I certainly hope it isn’t!

White Pages – I’ve heard about this band a million times, but I’ve never actually seen them live. I’m not really enthralled by their performance and for the most part it just comes off as generic garage rock to me. I’ll check out their music on bandcamp and see if I feel differently. http://whitepages.bandcamp.com/album/7-ep

Atlantic Thrills – Fuck man, Atlantic Thrills, well this is their album release show. Boston album release show anyway. We had a grande olde time at the Providence album release show and you can read about it here: https://klyam.com/2014/02/10/review-atlantic-thrills-album-release-show-w-ravi-shavi-gymshorts-littlefoot-dusk-2114/. We really hoped to bring back all the nudity, silly string, and general feeling of debauchery that was such a huge part of what made that show so special, but it just wasn’t happening tonight. That’s okay. We’ve been there before.

As I’ve written in the past, we’ve seen Thrillz shows filled with non stop moshing and dancing and then there’s been times where the crowd barely moves much at all. Tonight is more like the latter.

So, essentially it’s just Glen and me jumping up and down, getting all hysterical and primitive. We’re fresh off a Nice Guys/Miami Doritos tour kick off show – we’re all revved up and ready to go. Alas, we aren’t able to get others to join in all our lively commotion. Sometimes, it’s just not happening. That’s alright, it won’t stop us from having fun and it doesn’t stop the band either. Tragically, an outside force does indeed STOP the fun. About halfway through “Day At the Beach,” the po po shows up to ruin everyone’s good time. Bands playing at videos stores is apparently one of the top criminal offenses in the city of Boston. What’s even worse is that Liquor Store came all of the way from New Jersey and didn’t get to play. Next time gentlemen, we’ll reconvene under more civil circumstances.

 

KLYAM Recommended Shows (October 21 – 26)

klyamrecommended

Monday, October 21, 2013

Boston Hassle Presents: EX-Cult @ O’Brien’s Pub – 8 PM – $8 – Memphis’ current garage punk kings, EX-Cult are rocking through our fair city once again, after nearly breaking our bones at an epic punk slime show last July. Before EX-Cult hits the stage you may not even be standing straight, because Allston sociopaths Strict Agnostics are playing as well; definitely dudes you wanna know. Real, no bullshit punk featuring members of Nice Guys, Miami Doritos, Thigh Masters, and Big Buck Hunter. Additionally, fellow local garage rockers White Pages and Denton, TX doom metal sludgers Terminator 2 round out this fine ass bill.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The New Highway Hymnal @ Wilder Zangcraft – Over in Lowell, they are zanging out to one of the zickest bands I’ve ever zeen: The New Highway Hymnal, a psych drone machine that will blow your mind to smithereens. NHH will be joined by the jam/soul rock of Northampton’s Lord Jeff and the stoner fuzz rock of Austin, TX’s Mirror Travel. Kicking things off is a band we repped back in July: Allston’s Bellwire will sooth your sore ears with their soft rock ‘n’ roll gems.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

FIDLAR @ The Sinclair – 8 PM – $13 Adv/ $15 day of – Well well well, looks like we have ourselves a stacked line up. We’re excited to finally see LA’s cheap beer extollers and rock ‘n’ rollers, FIDLAR, but we’re even more psyched to witness the greatness that is The Orwells once again for the third time this year! Last and most definitely not least, one of our favorite local bands, the always slimy Nice Guys are opening up this show, and if you haven’t heard or seen them yet you’re in for a treat. I can’t wait to see you sixteen year old kids go nuts!

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Saralee @ The Spot JP – One of Boston’s best bands, Saralee is in the middle of a big ass tour with fellow underground rock ‘n’ roll crusaders, Giving Up and on this special night they’ll be back and killing it in their hometown. Joining them is the freak out soundz of one of their noisiest contemporaries, Guerilla Toss.

Chastity Belt @ Chum’s Coffeehouse (Brandeis University) – Seattle’s “Vagina Rock” quartet Chastity Belt are coming to Boston to destroy everyone’s favorite random venue, Chum’s in Waltham. Opening is tour mates Pony Time – a guy and girl rock duo sorta thang.

Kal Marks @ The Laundry Room (formerly known as the Ant Cellar) – Over in my old stomping grounds of Lowell is one kick ass show from the likes of one of Boston’s finest and most successful artists, Kal Marks. The other players include psych rockers, Vundabar, who are simply vunderful, ambient post-rock North Shorers, Harborlights, and old school folk dudes, Root Juice.

—————————————————

If you think we missed any shows that a tru KLYAM gangsta would vant to see. Hit us up at KLYAMEMAIL@GMAIL.COM

Thirsty & Miserable Spring 2012 Party Program !!

Here is a string of upcoming Boston area shows being put on T&M. Check them out and have fun! Judging from prior shows and these ones, T&M is truly one of the best around in this department.

5/12 – Mark Sultan, Girlfriends, Banditas, New Highway Hymnal, & The BF’s @ PA’s [LINK]
5/18 – Sonny Vincent, White Pages, Foster Care, Guilty Party, & Courters @ PA’s [LINK]
6/15 – Royal Headache, Radio Control, White Pages, & Guilty Party @ PA’s [LINK]
6/19 – Mean Jeans, Hollywood, White Pages & Explanets @ Radio [LINK]
6/30 – Smart Cops, Ex Humans, White Pages, & Beach Cops @ Rosebud [LINK]

Enjoy!

SHOW: White Pages, Liquor Store, More @ PA’s Lounge (2/4/12)

Three local pounding rock ‘n roll groups — White Pages, Bill Goffrier, Guilty Party — and one outta town band of a similar nature, Liquor Store, will be playing PAs this upcoming Saturday Night, February 4. The show is being put on courtesy of Brendan from Thirsty & Miserable. He’s arranged some great PAs shows in the past. White Pages are just coming off a successful tour of the south and I’m sure all four bands are rearing to play. Sounds fun!

Ex-Humans @ PA’s Lounge; Atlantic Thrills Mid-East!


Thirsty & Miserable
is throwing a show down again at PA’s Lounge on Friday, August 19th! On the bill are Ex Humanskiller rock n rollers born out of the ashes of ATL’s Carbonas, Somerville’s Four Eyes, Cambridge comedic punk White Pages, and well-traveled pop-meisters The BF’s. Indeed, there is a Facebook page for this event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=257701984255909#!/event.php?eid=257701984255909.
——————————————————————————–


Providence’s Atlantic Thrills are opening for Those Darlins at the Middle East Downstairs on October 15! Word!

SHOW ALERT: Baby Shakes @ PA’s Lounge

Thirsty & Miserable brings us Baby Shakes of NYC/Atlanta. Featured in the WE FUN documentary, Baby Shakes (believe it or not) have never been to Boston. This will be their first time! Check out their girly garage/punk: http://www.myspace.com/babyshakes. Also playing will be Somerville surf-rockers Beware The Dangers Of A Ghost Scorpion (http://www.myspace.com/northtexascobrasquadron), The BFs of Gloucester (who sound especially awesome — http://thebfs.bandcamp.com/), and finally punk ROCK shizzles White Pages (http://whitepages.bandcamp.com/).

When is this thing happening? Well, March 25. In case, y’all don’t know, PA’s Lounge is in Somerville.

More info on the event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=203434119667193 !