***POSTPONED*** KLYAM SHOW TONIGHT MONDAY 2/9

Jim Flyer
Flyer by Jim Leonard

UPDATE: Given the conditions, we’ve decided to cancel tonight’s show, damn!!!!!!!!! We were really looking forward to showing Fire Retarded what’s good and seeing them perform. Be sure to check them out if you have not already! We plan on rescheduling this show with Rad Castle for sometime in March so please stay a float for those announcements! Thanks everyone, stay warm!

Holy snow Batman! We need to all come together and get all close and fuzzy. This is just the place. Next Monday, February 9th, exactly a week from today Kids Like You & Me (KLYAM) & Rad Castle bring you a fine ass show at Middle East’s ZuZu featuring Madison, Wisconsin’s Fire Retarded! Joining them are some of KLYAM’s favorite people: The Fagettes, Miami Doritos, and Gangbang Gordon. Show starts at 10 PM, 21+ :( sorry kids. Oh and did I mention that this show is FREE! That’s right FREE.

Even though, it’s free please spare some extra $$$ for Fire Retarded as they are on tour from Wisconsin!

FB Eventhttps://www.facebook.com/events/1561366437408681/

My Favorites Albums From 2014

I’m going to do my best to just stick to full length albums. Here we go in  ABC order..

Thrills Tour
Atlantic Thrills – Atlantic Thrills (Almost Ready) – I’ve been a life long fan of music, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I became enamored with local music. Atlantic Thrills was one of the first bands I gravitated towards and it’s not hard to see why. They capture the punk slime sound we crave better than anyone else in New England and that is fully on display on this long awaited debut LP. Besides the music itself and the commaraderie that comes with it, one of the other great things about seeing a favorite band over and over again is becoming accustomed to their signature songs, so when you finally hear their album it sounds like a greatest hits collection – trust me I mean that in the best way possible. For what it’s worth, the alphabet just happens to work this way, but I’m glad this album is up here first because it is indeed my favorite album of the year. #1. I will say Free Pizza’s Boston, MA is a close second though, but we’ll get there when we get there. Top Song: “Lie To Me”

Aus
Ausmuteants – Ausmuteants (AARGHT) – Yes, I’m aware this is an album from 2013, but I first heard it in 2014, so I said fuck it why not just slap it on there. This will happen at least one more time. Top Song: “Tinnitus”. LISTEN:
 http://ausmuteants.bandcamp.com/album/amusements

Ausm
Ausmuteants – Order Of Operation (Goner/AARGHT) –  I just couldn’t get enough of these Aussies. This is just fun, funny garage pop with some vicious keyboards. It sounds like an 80s new wave band that got mixed up in the garage punk scene. You’ll be singing along to these gems all year. In addition to the kickass music, as with the first record, subject matter always slays me. Just listen to “Publicity Stunts.” Top Song: “Freedom Of Information” http://ausmuteants.bandcamp.com/


Fat Creeps – Must Be Nice (Sophomore Lounge/Gnar Tapes) – Your favorite Creeps are at it again and they’re heavier than ever on their debut full-length LP. I’m naturally biased, so the EP will always be my #1, but this is a solid follow up that won’t disappoint FC fans.  Top Song: “Daydreaming” http://fatcreeps.bandcamp.com/album/must-be-nice

Free Pizzaaa
Free Pizza – Boston, MA (BUFU/Feeding Tube) –The title track says it all. This was/is a local anthem for Boston, specifically the Boston underground music scene. I’d never thought I could embrace any notion of civic pride, but this song actually did it for me and it’s always a pleasure hearing it live. Sad to say these slices recently waved good bye to us for their hometown of Miami :(. At least,  we have the music and the memories. Top Song: “Boston, MA” http://freepizzarocks.bandcamp.com/

Gymshorts
Gymshorts – No Backsies (Self-Released) -This was my kick you in the balls, lay back and smoke, chug a 40 in the alley way, fuck you dad album of 2014. Yes, yes eat all of their gymshirts. Fill those little bellies. Top Song: “HEY PARENTS!”  http://gymshorts.bandcamp.com/

NAP
Juan Wauters – N.A.P. North American Poetry (Captured Tracks) – Let me hip you to something, this kewl kat known as Juan Wauters, you may have seen/heard/spiritually merged with the man before in his previous happening, Jackson Heights, Queens, NY’s #1 The Beets. If you doug (ehhhhhhhhhh) The Beets, then you’ll love Juan solo, you’re wack if you don’t. Dude channels The Beatles, Piero, and Los Mockers – the last two are groups Juan hipped me to. It’s like soft, serene Ramones too, if you’re still not convinced. Gotta rep Queens, even though I’ve only been there three or four times. Top Song: “Sanity” http://juanwauters.com/

The Lemons
The Lemons – Hello, We’re The Lemons (Burger/Gnar Tapes/Tripp Tapes) – Holy shit, definitely one of my new favorite bands. It’s hard to not be happy when you hear/see The Lemons. You’re submerged in this little, Lemons world that’s all gooey and yummy it’s like a Cheerios commercial from 40-50 years ago. There’s no bad feelings. SHORT SHORT songs about lemon limes, candy girls, jelly beans, ice cream, kool aid, Chubby Checker! Picture The Archies, The Monkees, The Partridge Family, I think. Perhaps the sweeter more innocent version of their Gnar brethren, The Memories. It’s all that and it’s super sweet and super short. A little injection of sugary pop. It’s so quick you want it to keep going, but it leaves as quick as it came. It’s that fast high, that five second orgasm, that day you discovered you had five bucks left in your pocket. When life hands you lemons, eat em’ up, eat all the sweets up and get those cavities, it’s worth it.
Believe the hype! Top Song: “My Candy Girl” http://thelemons.bandcamp.com/

Littlefoot
Littlefoot – Night Of The Living Dreams (BUFU) –  2014 was the first time I saw or even heard of Littlefoot. I can remember it like it was just last year. I remember seeing them open the Atlantic Thrills album release show and screaming to Glen HEY! they have that sound I love, it’s like Earth Angel and shit! All of those odes to golden oldies are heavily on display here, Erica is on top of it, she’s done her homework and the extra credit assignment. Surf on some dreamy pop waves with this album. Top Song: “Worrydoll” http://littlefootlittlefoot.bandcamp.com/

Marty
The Marty Kings – XVII (Self-Released) – Yeah, yeah, yeah, this isn’t from 2014. I told you this would come up again and I’m a man of my word. Well, I first heard this thang just this October and it’s too fucking fantastic for me not include it. I was cruising around with those sweet ass Nice Guys and I thunk what the funk is this? It’s so bubblegummy and poppy, but in that raw, off kilterish way I always luv. Those boys informed me that this was the mastmerind Andy Macbain, the man behind Tunnel Of Love and another band you’ll be seeing on here very shortly… Top Song: “Little Arthur”  http://themonsieurs.bandcamp.com/album/xvii

Memories hot
The Memories – Hot Afternoon (Burger/Gnar Tapes) – I had/have a huge boner for last year’s Love Is The Law and it’s lasted longer than four hours. Here we are again in 2014 and the vibes are still groovin’. It’s the same spirit, a bit funkier and even more laid back. If Love’ was the 60s, then Hot is the 70s. Do it up. Top Song: “Dad’s Not Home” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE_vAq1wRO4

The Monsieurs LP
The Monsieurs – The Monsieurs (Black Gladiator/Slovenly) –  This is pure, primal rock ‘n’ roll slime with a splash of punk and a pinch of pop. Real pop, bubblegummy in your tummy fun. Innocence… well not so innocent. It’s fun to be bad and this is about as badass as it gets. Various Boston garage legends here maintain their reputation and lurk the streets of beantown to fight again and again and again. Top Song: “Kari Ann”  http://slovenly.bandcamp.com/album/the-monsieurs

NOTS
NOTS – We Are NOTS (Goner) – You can never go wrong with Goner. Some kids way back said Memphis was dead, but damn it sure as hell is alive on this record. NOTS is straight up no holds barred fun with violent keyboards to add fuel to the fire. It’s one of those bestial sounds that makes me climb on top of the refrigerator and hop off like I’m five years old again, much to the chagrin of the folks downstairs. TOP SONG: “Insect Eyes” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yvjewj28wU

The_Orwells_-_Disgraceland
The Orwells – Disgraceland (Atlantic/Canvasback) – I’ve heard a lot of talk about this being too clean and commercial in comparison to their previous LP Remember When. Fair, but honestly it’s not that much cleaner and as far as I’m concerned The Orwells have always been mershy, radio friendly in a way, in a FABULOUS way. These feel like radio songs. Hit songs. One after another (some definitely stronger than others). Even when these dudes were fourteen and trying to sound like Black Lips and Back From the Grave comps, they still sounded rather accessible. You could see what they were going for and how they completely drove past it. That isn’t to say I think they’re better than the Lips or whoever, it’s just that even when they were a garage band they didn’t really sound like one. Whatever it is, they hit it right and they have the songs, the talent, and the live show to back it up. TOP SONG: “Blood Bubbles” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g87QQ4RX_KU

Ty man
Ty Segall – Manipulator (Drag City) – Ty again, big surprise buddy! Yes, Ty is back on my year end lists. There are no surprises here, there shouldn’t be. We rep the shit we love all year long and admittedly most of them fall under similar genres, hail from the same regions, and appear on the the same or similar labels. I’m okay with that, while I always love expanding there is such little time on this planet I intend to spend it with the music I love. As much as I dug Ty’s all acoustic effort in last year’s Sleeper, I’m really happy to see the dude rocking out once again. This is his longest monstrosity to date and while it’s not the same fuzz of early Segall, he maintains his true flavor and destroys. TOP SONG: “Feel” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4VA-b5ORxI

Now hold up, before y’all pack up your shit and leave, I must give a massive shout out to all of the KLYAM Records releases we love and are insanely proud to have put out in 2014. More cumming in 2015….

KLYAM-002: Nice Guys/Miami Doritos Splifft 7″
Nice Guys cover
http://niceguys666.bandcamp.com/album/splifft-7

KLYAM-003: Back Pages Singles 13 TAPE
BackPagesSingles13
http://klyam.bigcartel.com/product/back-pages-singles-13

KLYAM-004: The Electric Street Queens – Live From Your Dreams, We’re The Electric Street Queens TAPE
ESQ-COVER
http://electricstreetqueens.bandcamp.com/

All releases available here: http://klyam.bigcartel.com/, at the the following Boston area record stores: Deep Thoughts in Jamaica Plain, Weirdo Records in Cambridge, and Armageddon Records in Cambridge, and at all KLYAM Presents shows.

That’s all folks!

My Top Ten Favorite Shows of 2014…

I know this sounds like bullshit and I do say it every year, but each year gets better. I’d be lying if I said 2014 was the best year of my life, but as far as KLYAM goes it was definitely the best year for KLYAM. Every year does get better, just look at our label. We put out three more releases that we’re very proud of – Nice Guys/Miami Doritos Splifft 7″, Back Pages – Singles 13, and The Electric Street Queens – Live From Your Dreams, We’re The… and we have more on the way. Just look at our calendar, we went to more shows than ever this year. I counted 85 shows I attended this year, I know for some people that’s nothing, but considering I’m not in a band, I don’t have a car, I’m broke, and don’t live in the city, I’d say that’s pretty good. But hey, it’s not quantity, it’s quality (though we got both!), so here’s my top ten favorite shows from 2014:


10) The Orwells & Twin Peaks @ Great Scott (3/4) – Our dudes, The Orwells always put on a fantastic show and we saw them three times this year, but the Great Scott set was by far the best. Right up against the stage where the action is, no douchebag security guys or broseph stalins, just straight up fun. Oh and who could forget Mario hucking the mic stand into the crowd. Classic. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/04/05/review-the-orwells-twin-peaks-great-scott-3414/

Thieves Grotto
9) TIE: Nice Guys & Miami Doritos Tour Kick Off w/ Malportardo Kids and Grave Ideas & Nice Guys, Free Pizza, Ladybones, Dinoczar, both @ Thieves Grotto (2/28 & 11/21, respectively) – This is just one big shout out to the Grotto and Nice Guys. Nice Guys are honorary klyamers and so are Miami Doritos, and we love Free Pizza, we’ll miss those Miami boys. Ahh so much Miami! Guys, pizza, doritos. All the bands are named after food! Haha, but ya Thieves Grotto throws the most insane basement shows and it’s always a party. I wish every show was like these shows. KLYAM Review (2/28): https://klyam.com/2014/03/22/review-nice-guys-miami-doritos-tour-kick-off-thieves-grotto-22814/ & (11/21): https://klyam.com/2014/11/26/nice-guys-free-pizza-thieves-grotto-112114/

Cumstain Boston
8) Cumstain, Free Pizza, Gangbang Gordon (BUFU Tape Release), White Pages @ JP Drive In (8/24) – I still haven’t gotten over this show, not even just the show itself, but the very fact that it happened. Call me crazy, call me wild, call me a cocksucker, I don’t give a fuck. I’ve been waiting to see this band for four years now, I still can’t believe it. It was awesome to finally meet the stains themselves as well. This show is also significant because it was the first KLYAM Presents show in nearly a year and it was my homie, Gangbang Gordon’s BUFU tape release show. Cheers buddy. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/09/20/review-cumstain-free-pizza-gangbang-gordon-tape-release-white-pages-jp-drive-in-82414/

NO NO
7) Nobunny, The Hussy, The Fagettes, Banditas, Gangbang Gordon @ Middle East Upstairs (2/4) – NO NO needs NO introduction. It’s always a blast seeing the bunnyman in action, especially in front of a rowdy, sold out Boston crowd filled with tons of my friends. Solid set of openers including one of my favorites, The Hussy, whom made both their Boston and KLYAM debut. A highly memorable show that brought us some joy and warmth in the middle of a shivering, cold ass winter. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/02/15/review-nobunny-the-hussy-fagettes-banditas-gangbang-gordon-mid-east-upstairs-2414/

Lipss
6) Black Lips & Natural Child @ Paradise (4/19) – Of course, my favorite band, Black Lips, of course you’d see them here and you’ll see them again my friends. At last, I can finally put them on my year end lists again; we haven’t seen the flower punkers live since 2011. WHATT?! This was also my first time seeing Natural Child, yet another band I’ve been anticipating seeing for years. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/05/31/review-black-lips-natural-child-paradise-41914/

Lipskkbbq
5) Black Lips, The King Khan & BBQ Show, Coke Weed @ Port City Music Hall (9/27) –  I always love seeing a show at a venue I’ve never been to before, even if it’s a traditional music hall, it’s still new to me. I haven’t been in Portland (Maine) for a while, so that’s an added bonus. More importantly, this is a KLYAMER’s wet dream bill. Two giants of contemporary garage slime, straight up Rock ‘n’ Roll all in one night. Definitely some of best I’ve seen from the Lips and KKBBQ in years. No KLYAM Review, because my dog ate it. Do kids still say that?

Ty Great Scott
4) Ty Segall, La Luz, Boytoy @ Great Scott (9/19) – At this point in his career, Ty Segall can and will sell out large clubs, but that wasn’t the case this time. The show was sold out, of course, but it was at Great Scott, a relatively small venue. This is Ty here. I never thought I’d see him on that small stage. It was nuts. A vicious set with tunes from all over his career. Why can’t all my favorites just stop here? No bigger clubs (except Middle East). Ty’s the face of our rock ‘n’ roll and this show is a testament that Boston loves him. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/10/06/review-ty-segall-la-luz-boytoy-great-scott-91914/

Fall Tour
3) Black Lips, The King Khan & BBQ Show, The Kominas @ Paradise (9/28) – Christ, what a Black Lips whore. You knew what you were getting into when you started reading this. Night II of my Black Lips/KKBBQ Rock ‘n’ Roll Weekend and as you can probably tell the superior of the two nights. In particular, the Lips shined through cranking out golden oldies such as “I’ve Got A Knife” and “Ain’t No Deal” among other classics from all over their fifteen year reign of terror. These Atlantans were as feisty as ever (including newcummer/oldcummer Jack Hines, welcome back Jack!). Speaking of bodily fluids, never thought I’d see Cole peeing in his mouth again, damn I thought that was over after 2006 haha. Best of all, the Lips and KKBBQ merged as one and performed as the gospel supergroup, The Almighty Defenders. I SAW THE LIGHT. Oh and we got to enjoy a beer with some of the guys backstage, also something I’d never expect at the Paradise. I told Jared that I lost my virginity while The Spooks were playing in the background, which is true, he said “Well, cheers to that!”  Yes, cheers.

Dusk
2) Atlantic Thrills (Album Release), Ravi Shavi, Gymshorts, Littlefoot @ Dusk (2/1) – Providence consistently dishes out the wildest shows and this was total debauchery, one of the craziest shows I’ve ever seen. While, I don’t think anyone was hurt (though I had several bruises) I do mean crazy. The word gets tossed around all too often, but this one is up there. Pandemonium. At the very least, just good old fashioned fun. Whether it was all the nudity, moshing, silly string, beer flying, or simply singing along to all the songs we’ve come to know and love, it was a special little feeling you don’t get often and if I could trap it in a bottle and sell it to all of ya’ll, I’d be a billionaire.  And we KLYAMERS have really been waiting for this record to come out, three years now. An epic show with stellar opening sets might I add. What we call in my line of work  a “stacked line up.” Keep up the craziness in 2015 and beyond. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/02/10/review-atlantic-thrills-album-release-show-w-ravi-shavi-gymshorts-littlefoot-dusk-2114/

BUFU sch
1) BUFU Fest @ Cambridge Elks Lodge (4/25 & 4/26) – I’ve been to a few local music festivals now, but this one tops them all. Easily the closest to what a KLYAM Fest would look like (Fuzzstival is a close second though). A wide variety of acts being thrust in your face. One moment you’re rocking out to the Nice Guys, the next you’re singing along to ACLU Benefit’s one man show, then the next minute you’re shouting about “living in Boston, Massachusetts” with Free Pizza or you’re caught in a mosh with Guerrilla Toss. I’m ready to do it all over again this year. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/06/14/bufu-fest-recap-425-2614/

So, that’s that. As I said before, there were a ton of excellent shows I/we attended this year, I could make an honorable mentions list, but the list would go on and on. At the very least, here’s a list of my favorite bands I saw for the first time in 2014 in chronological order: Littlefoot, The Hussy, The Sulk Scouts, Buttercup, Tacocat, Durt Dog The Band, Natural Child, Juan Wauters, ACLU Benefit, The Ar-Kaics, Beach Toys, Robot Death Kites, Black Beach, The Lemons, Cumstain, (New England) Patriots, Ben Katzman’s DeGreaser, Good Nature (formerly known as Phaze), Ausmuteants, Ursula, Show Me The Body, Buck Gooter, Big Buck Hunter, and Feral Jenny.

FIRE RETARDED – “GET A JOB” WINTER 2015 TOUR/SHOW @ ZUZU (2/9)!

Fire
Flyer by Erick Fruehling

We will be freezing our asses off in February, but at least we’ll have plenty of rock ‘n’ roll to heat us up haha! Enter Madison, Wisconsin’s FIRE RETARDED, a demonic, boisterous crew of lads (featuring Bobby Hussy of The Hussy) that are hitting up the East Coast and South this Winter! We’re especially excited for their show on Monday, February 9th @ Middle East’s ZuZu in Cambridge w/ The Fagettes, Miami Doritos, and Gangbang Gordon!
. It’s a KLYAM Presents affair and we’re teaming up with weekly Monday night ZuZu hosts, Rad Castle. For everyone else, check out the dates below…

Tour Dates:
Wednesday 2/4 – Chicago, IL @ The Empty Bottle
w/ Rat Hammer, The Sueves
Thursday 2/5 – Indianapolis, IN @ Sexxx Mansion / House
Friday 2/6 – Detroit, MI @ UFO Factory
w/ Growing Pains
Saturday 2/7 – Cleveland, OH @ Now That’s Class
w/ New Planet Trampoline, Brent Collins, Ancestral Pearls
Sunday 2/8 – Buffalo, NY @ TBA
Monday 2/9 – Boston, MA @ ZuZu
w/ The Fagettes, Gangbang Gordon, Miami Doritos
Tuesday 2/10 – Brooklyn, NY @ The Palisades
w/ Sharkmuffin
Wednesday 2/11 – Baltimore, MD @ The Windup
Thursday 2/12 – Richmond, VA @ Strange Matter
Friday 2/13 – Wilmington, NC @ Reggies 42nd Club
w/ Deadly Lo-Fi
Saturday 2/14 – Atlanta, GA @ 529
Sunday 2/15 – New Orleans, LA @ Saturn Bar
w/ Buck Biloxi, Trampoline Team
Monday 2/16 – Austin, TX @ The Grand
w/ A Giant Dog
Tuesday 2/17 – Fort Worth, TX @ TBA
Wednesday 2/18 – Memphis, TN @ Buccaneer
w/ Manateees
Thursday 2/19 – Springfield, MO @ TBA
Friday 2/20 – Kansas City, KS @ Minibar
w/ Lazy, Wet Ones, Kool 100s
Saturday 2/21 – Omaha, NE @ O’Leavers
Monday 2/23 – Madison, WI @ Mickey’s Tavern
w/ Human Kindness
Facialbook event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/571864246183387/?ref_newsfeed_story_type=regular

UPCOMING KLYAM PRESENTS SHOWS!

Cantab
Hello to all you handsome devils and dominatrices out there. We the KLYAM have cooked up some spicy, sassy KLYAM Presents shows for y’all in January and February. Just oozing punk slime, the way we like it…

Friday, January 16th – The TeleVibes, Future Spa, Ben Tan, and 1 MORE TBA @ Cantab Lounge (basement) in Cambridge.$8, 21+, sorry kiddies :( 8 PM. Check out the slick flyer above from Future Spa’s own Cody Pettengil.  https://www.facebook.com/events/375101495991229/

Saturday, January 24th – The Monsieurs, Atlantic Thrills, Feral Jenny, ACLU Benefit @ Lilypad in Cambridge.
$7-10 Sliding Scale, ALL AGES!, 10PM-1AM. Flyer coming soon. FB EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/813886121991254/

Monday, February 9th – KLYAM Presents w/ RAD CASTLE: Fire Retarded (Wisconsin, members of The Hussy), The Fagettes, Miami Doritos, Gangbang Gordon @ ZuZu (Middle East) in CambridgeFREE! (donations are accepted for the touring band) 21+, sorry kiddies :( 10 PM. Flyer and FB event page coming soon.

COME OUT TO ALL OF THESE! YOU WON’T BE DISAPPOINTED. THREE NIGHTS OF BARE BONES ROCK ‘N’ ROLL AT ITS FINEST.

NICE GUYS – LIVE AT THIEVES GROTTO

Nice Grotto
OHH MY GOD, ARE YOU LISTENING? IT’S AN UNHOLY SNACKRIFICE. It’s unholy for sure, a little unholy Christmas present for you and me, and all other kids on the naughty list. Nice Guys forgive you.

Dude, check it out. 10 bangers from KLYAM Records own Nice Guys including back to back Splifft seven inchers “Jamaican Vacation” and “Medical Envy” for those of you that like their shit heavy. TURN IT UP LOUD AND BREAK YOUR SPEAKERS. This bad boy was recorded by TJ Freda at Thieves Grotto on February 28, 2014, ohh what a night. One of the best shows all year and now you have a sweaty slice of it. HUCK YOUR EMPTIES AT YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY!

LISTEN UP

And hey if you ever want a Nice Guys/Miami Doritos Splifft 7″, you know where to find it: http://klyam.bigcartel.com/product/nice-guys-miami-doritos-splifft-7

Live Review: Gangbang Gordon, Miami Doritos, Ben Tan @ Club Bohemia (11/28/14)

klyam 28
Bands: Gangbang Gordon, Miami Doritos, Ben Tan
Date: Friday, November 28, 2014
Venue: Club Bohemia/Cantab Lounge (Cambridge, MA)

Ben Tan – It’s been exactly a year (well shave off five days) since I’ve seen my homie Bad Boy Tan play a solo set. Welcome back brother. He begins the show with his guitar in arms and tapping away with one foot behind the bass drum. I think it’s a new tune or simply one I’m less familiar with, who knows?

Following the first number, he abandons the drums altogether and comes closer to the crowd; BBT upfront and personal. He strums away on the guitar, singing a song about “Marielle” and life with the “Upper Lower Middle Class Blues.” Classic BBT.

Next up are the keys, the core of BBT’s work. This is where he truly hones in on his Brian Wilson influence. I sound like frigging Patrick Bateman describing his music. The guy from American Psycho. This is where the sweet, softer songs kick in, tunes such as “Come Out” and “Dance The Night Away.”

As in my previous BBT experiences the last few songs are reserved for cover songs and any other special audience requests, within reason. Much to my amusement and pleasure, the bad boy belts out covers of The Carpenters’ “Superstar,” The Beatles’ “Martha My Dear,” and R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix).” With the last song, he even has the lyrics down to a tee, including the opening lines: “Now, um, usually I don’t do this but uh….” Sharp, sharp guy. http://bentan.bandcamp.com/

 Miami Doritos – Well, look who it is, couple of doritos on the loose from Miami, eh? Yes, yes sir. Whenever I tell people that I have a band on my label (KLYAM Records, in case you’re a wiener and didn’t know) named Miami Doritos they usually chuckle and say “that’s a good name,” those exact words. They roll over and laugh and nearly die due to the unending hilarity that ensues. One fella even said to me “boy, I’d sign them based on the name alone.” True story.

Alright, now that we all had a laugh or a wince, let’s get down and dirty, if not outright filthy. Kurt (throat & axe) and Alex (skins) are the savage duo behind this mess. Ancient Greek gladiators. These two can cause a real commotion, you’d think there was three, four, or five guys tugging away. A mini mosh pit even erupts, a quick little pick me up, that’s right.

Miami Doriots are a metal machine, it’s as if Metallica and Slayer molested Phil Spector. You see what I did there, haha haha, what a funny guy.

Among the chart topping bangers in the Miami Doreets catalog, I request “Bike Cops,” I in fact scream it at the band as an encore. It’s simply one of those tunes that makes me feel okay with the world, even though it’s a totally shitty world. Yeah. Others request “Price 2 Pay,” a tune that appears on the Miami Doritos Splifft 7″ w/ Nice Guys on KLYAM Records. Hey! check it out here: http://miamidoritos.bandcamp.com/album/splifft-7\

Gangbang Gordon – Is the name Gangbang Gordon inherently offensive? I don’t think so, but that’s not my problem. I mean who is Gordon anyway? That’s part of what makes the name NOT offensive to me. If it was just Gangbang, maybe. Probably not though. Then again, I was under the impression that a gangbang was a bunch of people fucking a lone, but willing participant. I thought when it was rape it was called a Gang Rape. Recently, I looked up the term Gangbang and apparently it could go either way. Regardless, it’s understandable if you feel uncomfortable by the name (feeling uncomfortable is part of the GBG charm), but rest assured no harm was intended. GBG (we’ll just go with that) is so oblivious to everything anyway. That brings me to my main point or at least one of them. I have no interest in actual music reviews.

Oblivious, yeah I like that. Awkward perhaps. Nauseating maybe? Or just plain old fun. GBG is self-described “outsider tard rock ‘n’ roll.” One man’s ambition to make rock ‘n’ roll music within the confines of limited technique, inability to “properly” sing, and somewhat ignorance in terms of the history of the music he is trying to emulate. Picture it on stage (or floor): GBG squeals and huffs and jerks off his gutiar, whilst his co-gangbangers drop loads of magic on “noise guitar,” bass, and drums. Ben Tan returns as Mr. Tambourine Man or better yet Benny the Bunny(he slaps on a pair of bunny ears). Nobenny! Haha!

Ahhhh right, going back to the weirdness, it’s crucial, a GBG set is like no other. Think or say whatever you wish, but you can’t say you’ll see this same performance somewhere else, at least I never have. The typical mantras spouted in the underground (and sometimes aboveground) world is “hey you can do this too!” “anyone can make music!” Whether it’s The Kingsmen, Ramones, Beat Happening, Black Lips – the idea is a few blokes get together, make some noise, bash away till they can adequately play… to be able to play a show and so on and so on. Most of the time, it’s something shitty, but they have their shit together. They really do. They’re adequate as hell, even if it’s incredibly shitty. You’ve seen this band before, you saw them five years ago, you may have seen them five days ago, you’ll see them again, you’ll probably see them five years from now. They never stop. Same band, different name, different faces. NOW, GBG is not this band.

They do not have their shit together. It’s as if every member, every banger, is playing their own individual show. Don’t get me wrong there are songs, this is music. Eschew any nonsense GBG spews about it being non-music, that’s a cop out for the music sounding odd, which it does. Trust me, I’m friends with the guy. The man, the myth, the legend. Well, it could be considered non-music, I suppose, but it’s not some lame, ironic, art house project. Fuck that. It’s entertainment, there’s songs, they are played for your entertainment. GBG flops to and fro in a peculiar fashion in front and frequently within the audience for their enjoyment. He’s well aware that there are people in front of him watching, paid their money, and have other things to do. You often see bands (like the shitty ones I alluded to earlier) that are up their playing and they’re not moving or saying anything or doing much at all. Damn, did I miss something? Do you owe someone money? Is some miscreant sticking a 45 to your head and saying GET UP THERE AND FUCKING PLAY. What a bore. GBG’s music may be comparatively inept, but he sure is an entertainer. He’s quite aware of what he’s going through.

Seemingly, anything can happen during a GBG show. There’s this, dare I say BEAUTIFUL element to a GBG show. It’s a certain atmosphere rarely tapped into by other lads. Everyone stares, perhaps head bobs, Mario Epstein dances his ass off, but legitimately anything could happen and it wouldn’t interrupt the show, the show would keep going on. Someone could waltz over in the middle of the band, drop their trousers and take a steaming dump right in the middle of the set and it wouldn’t stop the show. It may result in some glares and naturally people will pinch and/or cover their noses… but it wouldn’t ruin the moment. It would just be like ohh that’s Bill. Bill comes in around 14:32 and takes a dump. That’s part of the show. Similarly, songs often abruptly end OR they don’t know when to end. Regardless, the crowd typically has no clue when one is beginning and one is finishing.

Let’s hope they never finish. GBG: http://gangbanggordon.com/

So, that’s that. This was a KLYAM Presents show and we are more than grateful for all of you fine individuals that played this show, attended it, or even if you wanted to make it, but couldn’t or didn’t, whatever! WE THANK YOU. And of course a big thanks to Mickey Bliss and the Cantab/Club Bohemia for having us. We’ll be back very soon! Keep your eyes peeled…