My Top Ten Favorite Shows of 2014…

I know this sounds like bullshit and I do say it every year, but each year gets better. I’d be lying if I said 2014 was the best year of my life, but as far as KLYAM goes it was definitely the best year for KLYAM. Every year does get better, just look at our label. We put out three more releases that we’re very proud of – Nice Guys/Miami Doritos Splifft 7″, Back Pages – Singles 13, and The Electric Street Queens – Live From Your Dreams, We’re The… and we have more on the way. Just look at our calendar, we went to more shows than ever this year. I counted 85 shows I attended this year, I know for some people that’s nothing, but considering I’m not in a band, I don’t have a car, I’m broke, and don’t live in the city, I’d say that’s pretty good. But hey, it’s not quantity, it’s quality (though we got both!), so here’s my top ten favorite shows from 2014:


10) The Orwells & Twin Peaks @ Great Scott (3/4) – Our dudes, The Orwells always put on a fantastic show and we saw them three times this year, but the Great Scott set was by far the best. Right up against the stage where the action is, no douchebag security guys or broseph stalins, just straight up fun. Oh and who could forget Mario hucking the mic stand into the crowd. Classic. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/04/05/review-the-orwells-twin-peaks-great-scott-3414/

Thieves Grotto
9) TIE: Nice Guys & Miami Doritos Tour Kick Off w/ Malportardo Kids and Grave Ideas & Nice Guys, Free Pizza, Ladybones, Dinoczar, both @ Thieves Grotto (2/28 & 11/21, respectively) – This is just one big shout out to the Grotto and Nice Guys. Nice Guys are honorary klyamers and so are Miami Doritos, and we love Free Pizza, we’ll miss those Miami boys. Ahh so much Miami! Guys, pizza, doritos. All the bands are named after food! Haha, but ya Thieves Grotto throws the most insane basement shows and it’s always a party. I wish every show was like these shows. KLYAM Review (2/28): https://klyam.com/2014/03/22/review-nice-guys-miami-doritos-tour-kick-off-thieves-grotto-22814/ & (11/21): https://klyam.com/2014/11/26/nice-guys-free-pizza-thieves-grotto-112114/

Cumstain Boston
8) Cumstain, Free Pizza, Gangbang Gordon (BUFU Tape Release), White Pages @ JP Drive In (8/24) – I still haven’t gotten over this show, not even just the show itself, but the very fact that it happened. Call me crazy, call me wild, call me a cocksucker, I don’t give a fuck. I’ve been waiting to see this band for four years now, I still can’t believe it. It was awesome to finally meet the stains themselves as well. This show is also significant because it was the first KLYAM Presents show in nearly a year and it was my homie, Gangbang Gordon’s BUFU tape release show. Cheers buddy. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/09/20/review-cumstain-free-pizza-gangbang-gordon-tape-release-white-pages-jp-drive-in-82414/

NO NO
7) Nobunny, The Hussy, The Fagettes, Banditas, Gangbang Gordon @ Middle East Upstairs (2/4) – NO NO needs NO introduction. It’s always a blast seeing the bunnyman in action, especially in front of a rowdy, sold out Boston crowd filled with tons of my friends. Solid set of openers including one of my favorites, The Hussy, whom made both their Boston and KLYAM debut. A highly memorable show that brought us some joy and warmth in the middle of a shivering, cold ass winter. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/02/15/review-nobunny-the-hussy-fagettes-banditas-gangbang-gordon-mid-east-upstairs-2414/

Lipss
6) Black Lips & Natural Child @ Paradise (4/19) – Of course, my favorite band, Black Lips, of course you’d see them here and you’ll see them again my friends. At last, I can finally put them on my year end lists again; we haven’t seen the flower punkers live since 2011. WHATT?! This was also my first time seeing Natural Child, yet another band I’ve been anticipating seeing for years. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/05/31/review-black-lips-natural-child-paradise-41914/

Lipskkbbq
5) Black Lips, The King Khan & BBQ Show, Coke Weed @ Port City Music Hall (9/27) –  I always love seeing a show at a venue I’ve never been to before, even if it’s a traditional music hall, it’s still new to me. I haven’t been in Portland (Maine) for a while, so that’s an added bonus. More importantly, this is a KLYAMER’s wet dream bill. Two giants of contemporary garage slime, straight up Rock ‘n’ Roll all in one night. Definitely some of best I’ve seen from the Lips and KKBBQ in years. No KLYAM Review, because my dog ate it. Do kids still say that?

Ty Great Scott
4) Ty Segall, La Luz, Boytoy @ Great Scott (9/19) – At this point in his career, Ty Segall can and will sell out large clubs, but that wasn’t the case this time. The show was sold out, of course, but it was at Great Scott, a relatively small venue. This is Ty here. I never thought I’d see him on that small stage. It was nuts. A vicious set with tunes from all over his career. Why can’t all my favorites just stop here? No bigger clubs (except Middle East). Ty’s the face of our rock ‘n’ roll and this show is a testament that Boston loves him. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/10/06/review-ty-segall-la-luz-boytoy-great-scott-91914/

Fall Tour
3) Black Lips, The King Khan & BBQ Show, The Kominas @ Paradise (9/28) – Christ, what a Black Lips whore. You knew what you were getting into when you started reading this. Night II of my Black Lips/KKBBQ Rock ‘n’ Roll Weekend and as you can probably tell the superior of the two nights. In particular, the Lips shined through cranking out golden oldies such as “I’ve Got A Knife” and “Ain’t No Deal” among other classics from all over their fifteen year reign of terror. These Atlantans were as feisty as ever (including newcummer/oldcummer Jack Hines, welcome back Jack!). Speaking of bodily fluids, never thought I’d see Cole peeing in his mouth again, damn I thought that was over after 2006 haha. Best of all, the Lips and KKBBQ merged as one and performed as the gospel supergroup, The Almighty Defenders. I SAW THE LIGHT. Oh and we got to enjoy a beer with some of the guys backstage, also something I’d never expect at the Paradise. I told Jared that I lost my virginity while The Spooks were playing in the background, which is true, he said “Well, cheers to that!”  Yes, cheers.

Dusk
2) Atlantic Thrills (Album Release), Ravi Shavi, Gymshorts, Littlefoot @ Dusk (2/1) – Providence consistently dishes out the wildest shows and this was total debauchery, one of the craziest shows I’ve ever seen. While, I don’t think anyone was hurt (though I had several bruises) I do mean crazy. The word gets tossed around all too often, but this one is up there. Pandemonium. At the very least, just good old fashioned fun. Whether it was all the nudity, moshing, silly string, beer flying, or simply singing along to all the songs we’ve come to know and love, it was a special little feeling you don’t get often and if I could trap it in a bottle and sell it to all of ya’ll, I’d be a billionaire.  And we KLYAMERS have really been waiting for this record to come out, three years now. An epic show with stellar opening sets might I add. What we call in my line of work  a “stacked line up.” Keep up the craziness in 2015 and beyond. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/02/10/review-atlantic-thrills-album-release-show-w-ravi-shavi-gymshorts-littlefoot-dusk-2114/

BUFU sch
1) BUFU Fest @ Cambridge Elks Lodge (4/25 & 4/26) – I’ve been to a few local music festivals now, but this one tops them all. Easily the closest to what a KLYAM Fest would look like (Fuzzstival is a close second though). A wide variety of acts being thrust in your face. One moment you’re rocking out to the Nice Guys, the next you’re singing along to ACLU Benefit’s one man show, then the next minute you’re shouting about “living in Boston, Massachusetts” with Free Pizza or you’re caught in a mosh with Guerrilla Toss. I’m ready to do it all over again this year. KLYAM Review: https://klyam.com/2014/06/14/bufu-fest-recap-425-2614/

So, that’s that. As I said before, there were a ton of excellent shows I/we attended this year, I could make an honorable mentions list, but the list would go on and on. At the very least, here’s a list of my favorite bands I saw for the first time in 2014 in chronological order: Littlefoot, The Hussy, The Sulk Scouts, Buttercup, Tacocat, Durt Dog The Band, Natural Child, Juan Wauters, ACLU Benefit, The Ar-Kaics, Beach Toys, Robot Death Kites, Black Beach, The Lemons, Cumstain, (New England) Patriots, Ben Katzman’s DeGreaser, Good Nature (formerly known as Phaze), Ausmuteants, Ursula, Show Me The Body, Buck Gooter, Big Buck Hunter, and Feral Jenny.

Review: Cumstain, Free Pizza, Gangbang Gordon (Tape Release), White Pages @ JP Drive In (8/24/14)

Cumstain Boston
Flyer by Christine Moore
Bands: Free Pizza, Cumstain, Gangbang Gordon, White Pages
Date: Sunday, August 24, 2014
Venue: JP Drive In (Jamaica Plain, MA)

FUCK YESSS! Cumstain in Boston! We’ve been huge Cumstain fans for the last four years, so this is truly a triumphant day in KLYAM history. A dear diary moment indeed. I had visions of seeing the band play in a dank, crowded basement and NOW for once my fantasies have cum true!

White Pages – White Pages kick the show in the balls with a BANG. Not my favorite garage rawk band around these parts, but they fit in well with the crew tonight; fast, sloppy, out of tune punk rock. Songs are over before you even knew they began. I wish they were a little bit more distinctive, but I appreciate the ramshackle. I also get a kick out of the band’s self deprecating attitude. “You couldn’t possibly hate us as much as we hate ourselves.” Haha. http://whitepages.bandcamp.com/

Gangbang Gordon – Shit, if you thought White Pages were nutty then you’re in for a shocker. If the name alone didn’t scare you away (which it shouldn’t), brace yourself for America’s greatest cultural train wreck, GANGBANG GORDON! Culturally Irrevelerent that is. That’s GBG’s tape (out now on BUFU Records) and this is his tape release show. Did you get all that?

Gordon and his fellow gangbangers, which includes a rockin’ Sydney Kinchen on tambourine, are all squeegied together in a tight spot in the basement. This is their first haus show and honestly the best I’ve seen from the group. Not just hoppin’ on the Gangbang train, it’s the best I’ve seen. The sound is smoother, it’s a teeny bit more melodic, and the bangers just feel more at home. For one thing, the vocals are clearer than ever, though I also recognize most of the lyrics, since I’ve watched these little puppies (the songs) grow practically since their inception.

I think they open with “Malt Shop,” a pill poppin’ popper. It’s outsider noise, but there’s also some slamming, traditional punk rock to it. Some of the songs have solid, catchy, head bobbin’ inducing riffs to them (“Life At The ABC,” “I Can Testify,” and “Slide Paper”), but then sometimes those riffs get lost in the madness. I know this is a gangbang, but I’d prefer it if they had more rehearsals. Like they all gang up on a teddy bear or two the night before.

It’s okay though, as I said this is my favorite set from the dudes. When GBG/Gordon/Gangbang/Ted Bundy/ G Spin It/Max Hardcore/GG Gordon Allin/ GG Gordon Liddy/Gangbang Gordon Marshall JK plops into the crowd resting his guitar against his JP Drive By vicdumbs he serenades them with each guitar stroke, giving all their GF’s strokes in the process. They eat up each JP Lick he has to offer.

Cheers buddy, let’s see you and your minions do it again in another rusty basement near you and me and other kids like us in a theater near you and perhaps me, but closer to you. http://gbgordon.bandcamp.com/

Cumstain – WHA WHA WHATTT??? WHAT’S THEIR NAME?!! Chill out bro, it’s cool, EVERYBODY CUMS. In fact, that should be the name of a children’s book: Everybody Cums. From the creators of Everybody Poops…. We’ll teach them while they’re young so we don’t have to deal with all of their PC whining when they grow old. Wipe away all that self-righteous shame in its infancy.

Seriously though, I’m getting the chills. I’ve waited for this for so long. The band opens with White People Problems (2012) classic “I Ain’t Wrong.” Hot dog, we have a weiner. We also hear some newish cuts such as “Dahmer Blues (Gimme Head),” my Grandmother’s favorite Cumstain song. She used to shotgun six busch lights with Jeffrey Dahmer every morning. She’s a trooper.

For the first half of the set, the crowd is kind of swaying about, nodding along, you know politely rockin’ out or whatever that noise is. Erin and Sean then introduce one of Cumstain’s finest tunes “Bachelor’s Life” (from 2010’s Hurry Up and Kill Yourself You Scumbug, Trust Me Your Mother Won’t Miss You) as a song a certain someone (HINT: Expletive Gore Dan) might enjoy… and that sets the crowd off as it oughta. What a banger!

The crowd’s sauced and rowdy, boppin’ and sloppin’ to and fro. The band climaxes with their eponymous #1 hit “Cumstain” (2010) and I hear some folks giggle as Sean sings “I just want to fuck you.”  But, that’s not enough. The people want more. They demand sloppy seconds and we get an encore with “Broke My Dick” (2010) and the bodies keep slamming some more, culminating in a 40 shattering to pieces. It’s just another malt liquor stain on your floor.

A HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks to Cumstain for playing this show on their tour. It was amazing to finally meet Sean and Erin. Boston loves you, pretty please cum back soon!!!

LISTEN!: http://cumstain.bandcamp.com/

Free Pizza – The moshing continues and barely stops for a breather. The crowd goes particularly apeshit during the local rock anthem “Boston, MA.” Surely, it is one of those songs I wish could go on for two hours, if you’re just feeling it. The lyrics center around the happenings of young musicians and music lovers and pretty much anyone else depending on how you take it “living in Boston, Massachusetts.” My favorite line is “chill with the dead in the cemetery.” The dead. Grateful Dead. Haha, I always picture Jesus, Santiago, and Nick chilling with the Grateful Dead in a cemetery when I hear that line. Perhaps their jamming together. Perhaps.

Go see these guys live. There’s no excuse not to, one of the best around town and they play all the time. http://freepizzarocks.bandcamp.com/

THANKS TO ALL THE BANDS THAT PLAYED, BOSTON HASSLE/BODIES OF WATER SHOWS, BUFU RECORDS, AND EVERYONE THAT CAME OUT TO THE SHOW OR WANTED TO!

Don’t leave before checking out this sick vid of Cumstain from the show shot by our dear friend Mr. Melody Matters!

TOMORROW NIGHT: Cumstain, Gangbang Gordon (Tape Release), Free Pizza, White Pages @ JP Drive In

Cumstain Boston
Flyer by Christine Moore
Now, you know we love Cumstain. It’s been a dream of mine for four years now to see the band in the flesh in a packed basement filled with sweaty, drunken hellions. That’s what we have on our plate in front of us Boston. This Sunday at the chillest spot, you will find one Cumstain, Free Pizza, White Pages, and rampant tities sucker, Gangbang Gordon, who will be releasing his debut album via BUFU Records.

Bodies of Waters Shows, BUFU Records, and yours truly KLYAM are throwing down this fiesta tomorrow night on Sunday August 24th. Check it out or else! https://www.facebook.com/events/738454566218338/

Cumstain August-September Tour!

Stain
Cumstain, one of America’s greatest bands is cumming across our holy land this August and September. Unfortunately, no Boston dates :(. Maybe I can make the trip to NYC :) If you aren’t a love of the stain, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you, I’ll look the other way. I’m just going to leave this here for you http://cumstain.bandcamp.com/

8/9 – OAKLAND, CA @ House Show then the Nightlight
8/10 – PLACENTIA, CA @ The Men’s Warehouse w/ The Wimps
8/11 -PHOENIX, AZ @ Funny World w/ Father’s Day
8/12 -EL PASO TX @ MONARCH W/ NALGADAS
8/13 -AUSTIN, TX @ Hotel Vegas
8/14 -NEW ORLEANS, LA @ SIBERIA W/ BUCK BILOXI & THE FUCKS
8/15 – HUNTSVILLE, AL- details TBA
8/16 – ST AUGUSTINE, FL @ NOBBY’S
8/17 – JACKSONVILLE, FL @ UNDERBELLY’S
8/18 – ORLANDO, FL @ PEACOCK ROOM
8/19 -ATHENS, GA @ GO Bar
8/20 – ATLANTA, GA @ 529 W/TBA
8/21- WILMINGTON, NC- ORTON’S BAR & BILLIARDS
8/23 – Brooklyn, NY @ Union Pool
8/24-  BOSTON , MA @ JP Drive In w/ Gangbang Gordon (Tape Release!), Free Pizza, and White Pages
8/25 –  TBA
8/26 – CHICAGO- @ Emporium w/ Flesh Panthers
8/27- MADISON WI @ Mickey’s Tavern
8/28- MINNEAPOLIS, MN @ Hexagon Bar w/ Teenage Moods
8/29 – MILAWAUKEE, WI @ Bremen Cafe
8/31-DALLAS, TX @ The Crown and Harp
https://www.facebook.com/events/593533324087354/?ref_newsfeed_story_type=regular
9/01-OKLAHOMA CITY, OK @ The Hi-Lo w/ Lotta Tuff
9/02-KANSAS CITY, MO @ UNION OF WESTPORT W/MOUTHBREATHERS & All Blood
9/03- LAWRENCE, KS @ 8th St Taproom
9/04-DENVER, CO @ Rhinoceropolis w/ PIZZA TIME
9/05- SLC, UT @ Diabolical Records w/ JAWWSS
9/06- BOISE, ID @The Shredder W/ TBA
9/07- SEATTLE, WA @ Highline Bar
https://www.facebook.com/events/1472119669671644/?source=73
9/08- PORTLAND, OR @ THE KNOW

Cumstain/Pookie & The Poodlez September Tour!

Cumstain Tour
GO!

DATES:
Fri – 6th @ 924 Gilman, BERKELEY, CA w/ NOBUNNY (https://www.facebook.com/events/487524651323721/)
Sat – 7th @ Tiny Tavern, EUGENE, WA
Sun – 8th @ Victory Lounge, SEATTLE, WA
Mon – 9th @ The Cabin, BELLINGHAM, WA
Tues – 10th @ The Know, POTLAND, OR
Wedn – 11th @ TBA, EUREKA, CA
Fri – 13th @ VLHS, POMONA, CA
Sat – 14th @ Urban Outfitters OC, CA
Sat – 14th @ TBA  LOS ANGELES, CA
Sun – 15TH @ Tower Bar, SAN DIEGO, CA
Mon – 16th @ Strangers, EL CENTRO, CA
Tues – 17th @ Tiny Town, TUCSON, AZ
Wedn – 18th @ Funny Town, PHOENIX, AZ w/ FATHERS DAY
Thurs – 19th @ Dive Bar, LAS VEGAS, NV
Fri – 20th @ TBA, RENO, NV w/ NOBUNNY
Sat – 21st @ TBA, SAC/DAVIS, CA w/ NOBUNNY
We’ll fill y’all in on the TBAs as soon as we hear em. In the meantime, listen to this new sheeet: http://cumstain.bandcamp.com/album/cumstain-v-s-pookie-and-the-poodlez