Category Archives: humor

GRIZZLY BEAR CAR COMMERCIAL!

QUESTIONS!!!

Did u ever play ‘punch buggy’ with ur sibling?
Will outsell Vampire Weekend in 2k11?
Is this the ‘best use of indie music in a mainstream commercial’ in the history of commercials?
Does commercial licensing make a band ‘more bank’ than ‘releasing full albums’?
R u enjoying the corporate indie arms race of the 2k10 decade?

RESPONSE!!!

Felt three emotions.

(1), annoyed b/c ternative music was ‘tainted’ by some corporation. GrizzBr’s rep is stained. Mnstrmrms would make it less authentic.

(2), mnstrmrs would finally discover some good music.

(3), no one would notice b/c car commercial music isn’t that ‘relevant’.

King Khan & The Shrines

How Do I Keep You Outta Harm’s Way? (King Khan & The Shrines)
Soulful Supreme Genius spread in the air
The King came decked out in his white suit and slicked back hair
Accompanied by his lady, an ever-grinning cheerleader
And eight Sensational Shrines in their black Shrine Uniforms
The King ordered his minions to give him
A Loud and Proud response
They Roared
Unsatisfied, he Demanded again
This time the King was blown away
He and His Shrines exploded right into “Land of the Freak”
An apropos title for this setting
The fanatics hopped up and down
Side to Side
On the Stage
Off the Stage
The blissful cheerleader sprinkled glitter into the pit
As a cute little complement to the soulful music and funky dancing
As soon as the performance ended
Excessive crowd response ensued
Just when you think it’s over…
ENCORE!

Chris

Black Lips

Bad Kids (Black Lips)
When you mix doo wop, garage rock, punk, and some robitussin
What do you get?
Bad Kids
Notorious Fugitives
Or simply
The Black Lips

OBSESSED!!!!!!!!
Yes, it required that many exclamation points
I don’t know why I love these guys so much, but I’m hooked
I Stood in a Sea of fellow devotees, Screaming in anticipation
As soon as they hit the stage
The crowd stormed into a frenzy
Never remaining still or apart until the end
Pogoing
Moshing
Stage Diving
Crowd Surfing
Ensured the Best Concert
Soaked in Sweat and barely hearing
The Night was over
But, the memory will be Forever

I’ll admit, these poems were not my highest quality of work. But, they were fun to write lol.

Chris

Chris On…

Lady Gaga: Not as outrageous and monstrous as the big corporate creatures would like you to believe. Her whole shock thang is nothing new. Her purpose is to creep you out and creep you in again lol and she succeeds and loves it. But, there’s nothing triumphant about that. It’s like Madonna’s sex book, created solely for attention and to prove that sex sells. WELL NO SHIT! Do you know what country your in? Might as well go crazy and make a wild, cutting edge porno while you are trying to “dupe” us into buying your filth, instead of some risque black and white photos. Well, now I’ve digressed from the original topic, Ms. Gaga. Can’t believe I’m writing that retarded name. I’ll admit, I do find her sexy in her bizarre weirdo costumes, but her music still severely sucks and her act reminds me of a bad version of Alice Cooper (who I’m a huge fan of musically and theatrically), especially her performance at last week’s Grammys, which I watched in Cultural Studies class. I hate when folks rave about how wild she is and what not. Consider most of the bands we champion on here… need I say more? Alas, she’s a mere pawn in the corporate gangbang. Who isn’t?!

Death Penalty: I would never give the state the power to execute an individual. Are you outta your fucking minds?! Horrible idea. Yes, I know some fuckers truly deserve to be dead and in fact perhaps deserve a far worse death than a pussy injection. But, in the grand scheme of things it’s not just. I agree human life should be valued, but I don’t necessarily see it as the most inhumane concept either. My contention is why let some fucks die and let even worse mass murderers get away scott free and live happily ever after? Of course I am speaking of various powerful, political figures, namely those at the top like the Commander in Chief. The Chief torturer of the world. The Chief terrorist of the world. So, in other words, abolish the death penalty and FREE MUMIA IMMEDIATELY!!!

High Art Vs. Pop/Low Art: Ohh Che, you cute, pop superstar! The photo is courtesy of Mr. Andy Warhola lol. What is high art/culture and what is low/art culture? Well, these terms mean different things to different people. Some say Beethoven’s symphony is high art made for the intellectually inclined few and the fast bubblegum blasting rock of the Ramones is low art made for the uneducated masses. Perhaps, but to me such distinctions as high and low is far too elitist. I prefer to north and south and east and west and up and down and all around and do the naked hoola dance and if it’s grooving, I’ll keep moving, and if it’s slime, it ain’t worth my time.

Chris