
Kansas, you so lucky!

Kansas, you so lucky!
Great reverb soaked noise punker from Thee Oh Sees:
Cruises are the latest fad in Rock and Roll, it seems. And why not? They are great! Well, how about this:
Bruise Cruise Festival is an exclusive music festival on the high seas. It brings together today’s most prominent and influential rock bands on a three-day tropical vacation from Miami to the Bahamas.
The cruise offers true music fans a chance to witness their favorite bands in a unique, intimate rock festival atmosphere while being whisked away on an exotic vacation. A special escape from the winter doldrums. This dream getaway will reward guests with a once-in-a-lifetime chance to experience a string of exclusive concerts against the backdrop of a completely inclusive, relaxing getaway.
The first Bruise Cruise will feature a who’s-who of the North American rock scene: The Black Lips, Vivian Girls, Strange Boys, Thee Oh Sees, Ty Segall, Quintron and Miss Pussycat, Turbo Fruits and – last but not least – one of New York’s most prominent soul DJs, Mr. Jonathan Toubin. The cruise will include a kick-off party in Miami, multiple concerts at sea and Nassau in the Bahamas, open-bar cocktail parties and a soul dance-off with cash prizes.
Amenities featured on board include: gambling, resort-style pools, water parks, spas, fine dining and more. The price of one ticket will cover all entertainment, lodging, meals and some drinks. In order to create a highly coveted experience, only 400 guests will be able to attend the first Bruise Cruise.
Well, not for our Cali readers.

KLYAM suggestions:
– My boy Panda Bear
– Thee Oh Sees
– Wavves + Besty Coasty
– The Muslims [oops I mean The Soft Pack]
Watch Thee Oh Sees very shaky, epileptic music video below!

Band: Thee Oh Sees
Release: 5/2010
Label: In The Red
1. “Warm Slime” – B-
2. “I Was Denied” – A-
3. “Everything Went Black” – B+
4. “Castiatic Tackle” – A
5. “Flash Bats” – B-
6. “Mega-feast” – B+
7. “MT Work” – B
Comments: Prolific in both quantity and quality, Thee Oh Sees have been kicking out jams for years at the rate of two or three albums a year. Maybe more. Damn, the phrasing in that first sentence is a little redundant, but it sounds good. Speaking of redundant, how about a 13 minute opener? That’s more than twice the length of Mark Sultan’s $ premier number “Icicles.” Damn, I hope Pitchfork doesn’t give Stephen Deusner the call-to-the-mound, so to speak, to review this album. That hater will just hate. So, anyway, if I am going to pitch in my two cents, I might as well do that at this time. It’s only appropriate. Around the 5:00 mark things slow down from consistent beats to an A Capella (but not really) repetition of some sentence that is not comprehensible to me. A speed up, of course, follows and is actually kind of awesome. The drums remind me of when I try recording myself playing drums on the computer. It’s just a sequence of loud bass drum bangs that sort of take center stage and make everything else… off-center-stage. That makes no sense. But I continue. Let’s be real here. In the age of the information superhighway and not of the vinyl long-player, this opener is hella skippable. Listen up, though. I could see if I was reading a book or something and popped this on the record player. Yeah, that’d be fun. But fucking eh! “I Was Denied” is a loud noise club bang her with a very simple progression and an irresistibly in your face chorus. “Everything Went Black” has another classic Oh Sees drum scheme. These drum schemes work to some degree, but don’t get me into some kind of frenzy. “Castiatic Tackle” is the shit! Hot shit! That’s the way I like it, dudes. To borrow a phrase from the great Cole Alexander (and thousands of others…thanks Google search), this shit is “psychedelic as fuck!” “Flash Bats” doesn’t keep pace with the one before it, but is very good. “Mega-feast” has a cool hook and all. What a fun closer “MT Work” is.
Grade: B (86)

Bands: Jay Reatard/Thee Oh Sees
Release: 2009
Label: Shattered Records
1. “Telephone Network Voltage” – A-
2. “Blank Blogs” – C-
3. “7484” – C+
4. “Castiatic Tackle” – C
Comments: “Telephone Network Voltage” erm…”Hiding Hole.” I’m not quite sure when “Telephone” was composed, but it seems like a “Hiding Hole” demo. The lyrics are a little different and this version is particularly distorted and lo-fi. This version also features an extended guitar solo. It’s pretty good, but I think I prefer “Hiding Hole.” “Blank Blogs” isn’t a demo or an alternative version of a Jay song, it’s merely an exhausting instrumental. C’mon, guy! Thee Oh Sees sort of pick things up where “Blank Blogs” left off with an extremely lo-fi horror inspired instrumental/spoken-word piece. There is some degree of catchiness in the mess…not much though. All right, all right, all right. This is a pretty lame split.
Grade: C+ (78)

Titled Warm Slime.
Out on May 11.
Will any of the tracks be able to top ’09’s Help classic “Rainbow” ???
Cool bands (in alphabetical order?) that I discovered for the first time in 2009. Rule: they must not have been formed in 2009/must not have released their first record in 2009. Anything questionable, I didn’t include. And no doubts that I forgot some.
– Atlas Sound
– Black Moth Super Rainbow
– Bloodshot Bill
– Bobby Ubangi
– Box Elders
– Galaxie 500
– Mika Miko
– Portugal. The Man
– Thee Oh Sees