Bitchfuck Hacked Or Not?

I’m probably blogger number 532 to point this out, but whatever: Go read Pitchfork’s review of Eminem’s The Eminem Show. The “ryan” character refers to the founder of that site:

ryan loves it and he likes mmlp too so he’s all sonning me now with this ‘well ethan yes perhaps i’d allow you to give the marshall mathers lp a 10.0, i mean that particular record was perfect, but not this one’ yeah well you were busy talking about at the motherfucking drive in back then so let me redeem your godawful site now. jeez unless he went back on his dumb-ass ‘policy’ theres a nine dot one up there but i promise you ‘the eminem show’ is really a ten, know that

oh my darling eminem! how i love you marshall, spittin shiny massive magnetic acrostics to fit the thrillest rhyme style ever invented (ugh yeah i’m trying not to explain his quote unquote flow in those meaningless autechre words like architectural and labyrinthine but SHIT) but yeah although em’s lyrics arent usually quotably evocative for rock reviews like wu or jay here i’m not even going to try, you have to hear him spit at it live or on record

CD Review: Weirdo Rippers

Hey there did you hear the news it’s CD Review!….. OK so, I completely stole that from Anthony Fantano’s The Needle Drop and inserted CD where track is. Any who, here’s a review of a somewhat (in terms of it not being too old) classic No Age album.

Artist: No Age
Album: Weirdo Rippers
Year: 2007
Label: Fat Cat

1) Every Artist Needs A Tragedy- 9.0- Classic No Age, sets the atmospheric tone for this album. It’s a bit too long for me on record. Live I can really appreciate the big build up, but on record it simply could be cut 15-30 seconds short. Of course, when that doooo dooooo dunnn guitar riff crashes in, you know what I’m speaking of! it makes this album opener instantly better. The vocals could be stronger as well.

2) Boy Void- 9.5- A noisy jolt of our boys voiding like crazy animals, they would never dare to ingest. Much better than the previous track and in direct contrast musically. BV is straight up noise pop (perhaps more noise than pop!) of the No Age variety: simple, banging of drums, distortion, low vocals, all of which escalate into heavier jamming you can mosh and mash and trash to.

3) I Wanna Sleep- 7.5- Not my cup of tea, to atmospheric for me! This can be said with many of the songs that follow. I suppose this song would work well when going to sleep, but it’s not particularly a tune I would scour for on my ipod. I dig the slow and simple drumwork and distorted, almost menacing vocals in the background.

4) My Life’s Alright Without You- 9.7- One of my new NA favorites! Extremely catchy, to say the least. I love how the song starts off with some strumming of a guitar and the noisy/atmosphericness of previous tracks, then wait… turn the radio up, at least I need to; the vocals are memorable and immediately I start singing along. My only qualm is that it’s too damn short.

5) Everybody’s Down- 10.0- Do I even need to say more? I’ve seen this masterpiece live twice and though it’s not the same on record, unless Randy Randal Randomly appears in your basement and hops off your amp onto your buddies and you whilst slamdancing the night away. Yeah, that hasn’t happened for me either. Nonetheless, my favorite NA song and my #5 fave of all times! (at the moment lol) On this track we have the dueling vocals of Dean and Randy, then some oooo wah oooos, followed by a brief guitar riff, that despite it’s brevity keeps you in suspense for what will come next. As it all comes together it’s an explosion, the greatest NA explosion ever, with fast, loud, pumping drums and guitars. By the end, Everybody’s definitely Up… I just had to say it.

6) Sun Spots- 7.7- Back to the atmospheric feel. Really chill, perhaps you could put it on in the background. It’s basically a transition track, but to me it’s more filler and unecessary, despite it’s cool serenity.

7) Loosen This Job- 8.7-Like the others, it’s relaxing, apropos for a rainy/snowy/windy/ cold, winter day. This is better than some of the other similar sounding tracks. I really like the sound of the vocals and the subtle percussion. I think the beginning could have been chopped up a bit.

8) Neck Escpaer- 9.8- Of course one of the band’s classics and one that brings pure delight to my ears when I hear it live. This song effectively utilizes that atmospheric (I’ve raped this word enough in this post, but I’m grabbin’ second helpings here) touch and offers us some really special drumwork that slowly creeps on you and meets up with the vocals and once they’re linked they are inseparatable. They complment each other so well, they get busy and give birth to a beautiful baby explosion, just a baby one, not of papa ED’s magnitude. Eww (sniffs), hmm, smells like someone died…

9) Dead Plane- 8.8- Back to the chill wintery sound I mentioned earlier. In some ways this plane is dead, but around 1:40, we hear some jammin. Nothing big yet. Wait some more, then around 2:50, things really start to pick up. It gets louder, faster, vocals are introduced and it’s a rocker for the remainder of the number. I’d rather it have been more like that throughout.

10) Semi-Sorted- 8.1- Same as before, for the most part. Around 2:20, we hear some vocals, more speaking than singing. But, it adds more to the song. Then there’s a pumping drum beat that follows. It get catchy toward the end, like the previous track.

11) Escarpment- 6.9- Starts off like others of that variety lol. A bit noisier. Some cool sounds are thrown in the mix, but it never seems to pick up.

Overall: B- There are some really killer tracks and this LP sets itself apart from Nouns (or vice-versa?), but it’s not quite my cup of tea as a whole. Like I said, I’d erase much of it. The songs that don’t completely tickle my fancy are not “bad,” but not necessarily of my taste or they only get my tastebuds swirling round n round towards the end. If this is the only No Age record you have heard, surely, check out Nouns!

Chris

Ha-Ha Pitchsucker’s Invisible Girl Review

LINK
It’s just too bad, for every “Animal Party” or ill-fated game of “Spin the Bottle” and well-placed anatomical guffaw there’s one too many tunes that just go through the motions, and old ones at that. Still, the tunes on Invisible Girl work, because Khan and Sultan’s love of the music they’re ripping off is obvious and infectious, and because they’ve got a knack for capturing the feel of the records they’re taking cues from most throwbacks can’t quite muster. Sam the Sham would be proud; that is, if he’s cool with dick jokes.

Since when can you praise an album and then call the songs you just praised “tunes that just go through the motions?” The reviewer, Paul Thompson, is terribly confused and was forced to not give the album anything above an 8. He gave it a 7.1. Which means nothing. It’s just a number.

Hello World

Hello world! I would like to introduce myself. My name is Matthew Ramsden and thanks to the generosity of the founders of this blog, I have been appointed as a new writer and contributor to Kids Like You And Me. Well, my posts will pretty much be the same as what the other writers post; CD and movie reviews, political opinions, anecdotes about my life etc. However, I will also add whatever I know about live theatre if any drama kids read this (REPRESENT!!!) So that’s about it. I want to thank the founders of Kids Like You And Me again for adding me. I’m sure this will be an interesting experience. In the words of the great journalist Edward R. Murrow, “Good night and good luck.”