Category Archives: pictures

100 Bands to See Before I Die!

Now, I know I have made this list before and you know what I will probably make it again as I constantly discover more and more fantastic artists. As of now, these are the bands and solo stars I would really like to see before I can see Jay Reatard again haha. Here they are in no particular order except the first three. NOTE: I have never seen any of these bands, hence the purpose of this post, though I have seen some of the artists, but in different acts.

1) Adam Green
2) Cumstain
3) Natural Child
4) Shannon and The Clams
5) Atlas Sound
6) Fugazi (if that damn hiatus ended)
7) Beat Happening (see Fugazi)
8) The Replacements (if they moved on without Bob Stinson and reformed)
9) The Smiths (doubt it, but if Morrissey and the gang kissed and made up)
10) Bad Brains
11) Bright Eyes
12) Arcade Fire
13) Leonard Cohen
14) Page France (if they reform)
15) Rage Against the Machine
16) Pogues
17) Almighty Defenders
18) Big Black (if they reunited for more than just a one off thang)
19) Black Flag (if Rollins is behind the Mic, well just about anything Rollins for that matter, bu esp. BF)
20) Jello Biafra (with any band I suppose)
21) Nick Cave (particularly the Bad Seeds)
22) Simon & Garfunkel
23) David Bowie
24) Led Zeppelin
25) Les Sexareenos
26) System Of A Down
27) Misfits (If Danzig is on vocals)
28) Descendents
29) N.W.A.
30) Wu-Tang Clan (or perhaps one of the solo acts)
31) Ween
32) The Oblivians
33) The Nightwatchman Tom Morello
34) Shellac
35) Lou Reed/Velvet Undergound
36) The Stooges
37) Daniel Johnston
38) The Shaggs
39) Weezer
40) Moldy Peaches (yeah yeah if they reform)
41) Kimya Dawson
42) Alice In Chains
43) Faith No More
44) Jesus and Mary Chain
45) Lotus Plaza
46) Jane’s Addiction
47) Vaselines
48) Anti-Flag
49) Mika Miko (if they join forces again)
50) Andrew W.K.
51) Black Sabbath
52) Pavement
53) Sebadoh (that would be sick)
54) Lightning Bolt
55) Immortal Technique
56) Incubus
57) Primus
58) Stone Roses (same deal)
59) New York Dolls
60) X
61) Mabuses
62) Husker Du (I think the Huskers are long overdue for a reunion tour!)
63) Ghetto Cross
64) Old King Cole Younger
65) The Spooks (If I’m randomly in Atlanta on Halloween lol)
66) KRS-One
67) The Jam (Weller solo is cool, but not good enough)
68) The Buzzcocks
69) Smashing Pumpkins
70) R.E.M.
71) Talking Heads (please guys reunite and let’s start making sense!)
72) Devo
73) KISS
74) Cheap Trick
75) MC5
76) George Jones
77) Willie Nelson
78) Neil Young
79) Creedence Clearwater Revivial
80) Slayer
81) Mudhoney
82) Paul McCartney
83) Cypress Hill
84) Pharcyde
85) Alice Cooper
86) Galaxie 500
87) At the Drive-In
88) Vomit Squad (or just about any random Khan side project)
89) Gaye Blades
90) Bjork
91) Beastie Boys
92) The Growlers
93) Butthole Surfers
94) Necro
95) Sly and the Family Stone
96) George Clinton/Parliament Funkadelic
97) Fear
98) Melvins
99) Jesus Lizard
100) The Barbaras

Yeah, I know most of these are not exactly realistic, but what the hey. I seriously plan on crossing out each band after I see them (In less than ten days Those Darlins should be crossed off!) and in this case probably just filling them in with another artist.

Mini Classic Film Reviews: Airplane!…

Full Title: Airplane!
Director(s): Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker
Year: 1980
Comments: One of the zaniest, silliest, and most definitely funniest films I have ever seen. This flick is filled with memorable scenes, one liners, and all sorts of other hiarious treats. Alas, the spoof genre it helped launch did not spawn nearly as many classics as this gem.
Grade: A

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Full Title: Scary Movie
Director: Keenan Ivory Wayans
Year: 2000
Comments: Following the tradition of Airplane! (1980) Scary Movie does a good job of poking fun at the ridiculocity of various teen slasher flicks and it is very funny, but isn’t original nor memorable enough to be as revered as the former.
Grade: C+

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Full Title: Mallrats
Director: Kevin Smith
Year: 1995
Comments: Smith’s sophomore effort continues this Mini Classic Film Reviews’ trend of absurd comedies, but with this movie as with most of Smith’s work there is far more brains squeezed into the equation. Smith writes fabulous dialouge with as much wit as toilet humor. This isn’t Smith’s best, but as far as comedies go, it is one of my favorites.
Grade: A-

Band Spotlight: The Beets


No no not those Beets!

Artist: The Beets
Label: Captured Tracks, Mountain of Slime
Years Active: 2007-Present
Where Does This Shit Originate?: Jackson Heights, New York
Members June- Vocals/Guitar and Josie-Vocals/Bass
Main Influences: According to their MySpace, “Chicos Electricos, The Beach Boys, Eduardo Mateo, Spit and Puke, Ramones, Tom & Jerry, Jackson Heights, Emi Delico, The International Adult Conspiracy, and Chicos Electricos.”
Sounds Like: Also according to their MySpace, “a trio of drunk, possibly retarded twelve year olds. Seriously, my left tit probably outweighed the whole fucking band.” – Tuddd’s Muddd, (http://tudsmudh.typepad.com/)” I myself and Glen hear a lot of Beat Happening in their soud, attitude and overall aesthetic. Also, a little bit of wildmen, garage drenched drunkeness a la Black Lips.
Top Songs: “Broken English,” “Flower Girl,” “Happy, But On My Way,” “I’m So Bored,” and others
Top Album: Spit In the Face of People Who Don’t Want to Be Cool
If You Like…: If you like the Black Lips, Maine Coons, Beat Happening, Shaggs, Ramones, Tim and Eric (haha), then the Beets may just tickle your fancy like they have tickled mine.

Check Them Out!
http://www.myspace.com/thebeetsbeat and http://www.daytrotter.com/dt/the-beets-concert/20031324-37382373.html

Classic Film Review: Welcome to the Dollhouse

Full Title: Welcome to the Dollhouse
Director: Todd Solondz
Year: 1996
Comments:
Being a huge fan of Todd Solondz’s later film Happiness (1998) I had high expectations for this flick and fortunately they were more than satisfied. WTD follows the life of a bespectacled, nerdy, awkward, and lonely Junior Highschooler named Dawn Wiener (Heather Matarazzo), who is the victim of excessive abuse from her peers, parents (verbal, neglect), and teachers. As usual, Solondz presents this over the top mess with dark, acerbic humor and quirky, colorful characters. Yes, for some the humor might be totally lost as I warn you now, this is not for the weak at heart. It is quite disturbing and may be extremely heart wrenching for those who actually suffered from bullying, sexual harassment, abduction, amongst other torturous activity. With that being said, this film is not a drama in the traditional sense; Solondz himself labels his movies as “sad comedies.” Haha, I couldn’t agree more! For me though, I didn’t find this as funny as say Happiness, which leaves me in stitches despite or because of the lurid subject matter of that film. Perhaps, it is because this is my first viewing, after all it took me at least three times around to really get past the fucked up nature of Solondz’s movies to truly appreciate the comedy of Happiness. So, who knows maybe after a couple more screenings (which I guarantee will happen) I’ll crack up at WTD. All in all, this is a great film that is rich, unique, and always keeps you curious what will happen next. I don’t like this as much as Happiness because it focuses more on one character than several characters, but that isn’t much of a flaw. Overall, this is a “no bullshit” film, so to speak; it sticks with it’s harsh, black comedy style and never lets up like most other movies with the same subject matter would. These characters are far more realistic and are not simply cliched two dimensional specimens. The main character Dawn, the victim, exploits people, makes fun of others and is incredibly self-centered. Yet, we sympathize with her because, well, everyone fucking hates her and torments the poor girl to no end. Solondz never dresses up this horrible situation, but rather provides merciless satire and a really fascinating storyline. KLYAM RECOMMENDED? You know it.

Grade
: A/A-, highly recommend!

This musical number from the film and Dawn’s reaction to the performance (great acting by Heather lol) clearly demonstrates the off kilter, quirky nature of the movie.

Mini Classic Film Review: E.T.

This is somewhat of a new segment in that I will be writing a brief blurb on films I have already seen before after I view them. Does that make any sense? Probably not… Ok, so I typically write up proper film reviews of movies I have never seen before up until that point. Since, I love film and film analysis, I will be posting these ditties everytime I watch a movie (or as much as I possibly can, if I’m not too busy with something else), unless it’s a new film to me, then I will do a normal review. Also, I will probably discuss more than one motion picture per post. Got It? Great, now to this classic.

Full Title: E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial
Director: Steven Spielberg
Year: 1982
Comments: This is easly the greatest and most emotional “Children’s” film in existence. Spielberg creates a magical, touching, and extremely timeless masterpiece without inundating us with over the top special effects. The famous shot of E.T. and Elliot silhouetted against the moon is without a doubt one of the most lasting cinematic images in film history and definitely one of my favorites at that.
Grade: A+

Chris On…

Gangsta Rap and Hip Hop in General:
There are many aspects of (QUALITY) Rap and Hip-Hop that I love, but two things have always stood out to me more than anything: 1) The harshness in the lyrics, sometimes sound, and most definitely the delivery. This is what I adored in old school Gangsta Rap groups like N.W.A. and Wu-Tang Clan, amongst several others. In general, I really have an affinity for confrontational art and these artists certainly got the job done and scared all the White Folks. 2) The dark, caustic and occasionally absurdist humor that one can find in said harsh lyrics. One of the first rap songs I ever heard that hit me hard was Eminem’s “My Name Is,” I saw its video on MTV when it was “Brand Spankin’ New” at the wholesome age of 8. I then went out and purchased the entire record. I fell in love with the Slim Shady “character.” I was frightened and simultaneously amused. And the rest is history… Nowadays, I don’t like as many rap artists, especially those that call themselves “Gangsta Rap.” Now, it could just be my taste and I’m sure there are plenty of awesome underground rappers, but certainly the state of mainstream hip hop has taken a turn for the worse in the past 10-15 years or so. Modern rappers that I dig include Immortal Technique, Dead Prez, and Necro. All of those artists have been around for a while however, but they are still holding the intimidating/militant character of rap music/culture that I cherish. I’m sure there are others out there as I already said, but they simply haven’t caught my attention; rap/hip-hop is a style of music I enjoy, but makes up a small percentage of my eartime. Anyway, in mainstream hip pop the production is far too clean, commerical and the songs are just poppy dance numbers. Really wimpy, pussy shit. Even people like L’il Wayne do very little to nothing for me. ME! I’m a privileged, little, white suburbanite that knows nothing of “street life” and has no gangsta credibillity whatsover (don’t want any for that matter) and yet these supposedly tough guys on the radio do not initmidate me with their craft. There’s nothing threatening about it. I’m sure in real life they are “tough,” but with their music they have no balls. In short, for me Hip-Hop shares the same story as Rock and Roll, but in way less time and far less pleasing too my taste, albeit some very classic material. It’s like both started out as small, underground, regionally based, black music that was threatening and rebellious to white people. The style became popular and hit the mainstream, then matured (sonically, lyrically, aesthetically,etc), then slowly became more and more mainstream until there was a massive chasm between commercial and underground Hip Hop, with the former sucking massive Corporate Cock. The only thing is the Rock story lasted way longer (Early 50s- Mid 70s- started to go downhill in the mainstream) than Hip Hop (Early 80s- Early-Mid 90s). I know I know Hip Hop technically started wayyyy before then, but it didn’t really take off until the early 80s. So, in other words to the silly Mainstreamers out there in Rap and/or Rock and Roll, in the fine words of N.W.A. “EAT SHIT AND DIE!”

KLAHAM JOKE ;)

What does Hamilton Leithauser say when someone calls him up for a ride?

“You’ve got a nerve to be asking a favor.You’ve got a nerve to be calling my number!”

And when the guy tells him where to pick him up….

He says, “I know,We’ve been through this before.”

When he arrives and the dude isn”t ready…

He screams, “Can’t you hear me I’m, Pounding on your door?!Can’t you see me i’m, calling out your name?!”

So now he always laments:

“I go out alone if I go out at all.”

My Favorite Singers


In no particular order after the first few.

1) Jay Reatard
2) Mark Sultan
3) Black Lips- Jared Swilley, Cole Alexander, Joe Bradley
4) John Lennon
5) Joey Ramone
6) King Khan
7) Zack De La Rocha
8) Bradford Cox
9) Kurt Cobain
10) Beat Happening- Calvin Johnson and Heather Lewis
11) Roy Orbison
12) Paul McCartney
13) Lou Reed
14) Lou Barlow
15) Freddie Mercury
16) Paul Simon
17) David Bowie
18) Seth Bogart aka “Hunx”
19) Paul Westerberg
20) Morrissey
21) Clayton McIntyre
22) Dean Allen Spunt
23) Jim Morrison
24) Roger Daltrey
25) H.R.
26) Glenn Danzig
27) Jello Biafra
28) Maynard James Keenan
29) Thom Yorke
30) Johnny Cash
31) Tammy Wynette
32) Patsy Kline
33) George Jones
34) Johnny Rotten
35) J Mascis
36) Michael Nau
37) Animal Collective- Panda Bear and Avey Tare
38) Nathan Williams
39) Bobby Vinton
40) Karen Carpenter
41) Dean and Gene Ween
42) Darryl Palumbo
43) Sonic Youth- Thurston Moore, Kim Gordan, and Lee Renaldo
44) Pixies- Black Francis and Kim Deal
45) Ian Mackaye
46) Steve Albini
47) David Byrne
48) Ronettes
49) Supremes
50) Beach Boys- Brian Wilson, Carl Wilson, Mike Love
51) Tom Gabel
52) Conor Oberst
53) Win Butler
54) Bob Marley
55) Leonard Cohen
56) Elvis Presley
57) Daniel Johnston
58) Perry Farrell
59) Elliott Smith- can’t believe I haven’t mentioned him yet!
60) Nick Cave
61) Frank Zappa
62) The Nightwatchman (Tom Morello)
63) Alex Turner
64) Shane MacGowan
65) Chino Moreno
66) Jesus and Mary Chain- Jim and William Reid
67) Meat Puppets- Cris and Kurt Kirkwood
68) Christopher Owens
69) Kip Berman
70) Milo Aukerman

I’m probably forgetting many others….