Since Chris put one foot forward in making KLYAM more like Beer Advocate, I’ve decided to make this alcohol related post out of necessity and clarification. As I’m passively sipping on an alcohol beverage, I’ve embarked on the chaotic quest of finding out how other people feel about how drinking alcohol feels. Chances are that the person on Yahoo! Answers asking this question has never tasted alcohol and is curious. We’ve all been there. Now, I know some (if not all, then most) of you folks did not need the aid of anonymous internet discussion boarders in gauging the mysterious liquid. Maybe one or two of you reading decided to look into this medium. Fine. Typical responses (in my viewing history AND as expected) run the gamut from the neo-Prohibitionist (“Don’t drink at all. It is poison!”) to the impudently blithe (“Get fucked up and see!”). If I had to respond, I would take a reasonably middling stance. I’ve seen a fair share of responses, though, that really get my blood boiling. I can understand the truths in both extremes that I just mentioned, but when I read a response that says “you will feel horribly sick the next morning” I get semi-angered. If you have a moderate amount of alcohol beverage, in between ONE and anywhere between TWO and ______ drinks, chances are more than probable that you won’t feel sick. It’s called moderation for a reason. It’s a crime to instill fear in the brains of neophytes with this kind of garbage…this kind of shit. I don’t know too many people that go all out/black out during their first experimental session, do you? That’s all really. I could conclude this passage much more formally, but that’s all I have. My libation is getting warm.
From The Golden Book Encyclopedia Book 1:
Alcohol: Grain alcohol is the kind of alcohol found in such drinks as wine, beer, and whisky. Drinking too much grain alcohol makes people do queer things. It makes them stagger when they try to walk. It makes them talk strangely, too, and not very intelligently. They cannot drive a car safely. They cannot be depended on to do anything that requires careful thinking.
Hahaha gets me every time!
Maybe it was too soon to make a post about pins that say “I Did Coke W/ Jay Reatard,” but I’m sure Jay wouldn’t have given a shit.
“Cocaine toxicity, aided and abetted by booze, did in musician Jay Reatard, according to the results of an autopsy released this morning.”
Behold the world’s tax dollars at work. A Russian professor at the Saint Petersburg Technological University has developed a process that allows him to take almost any kind of alcohol, turn it into a powder, and then pack it into a pill for easy transport. Yeah, someone actually took the time and the research money to figure this out. Why bring a bottle of wine to your next dinner party when you can just drop a few tablets of whisky on the kitchen table and call it a night?
“We have developed a technology that allowed us to turn any liquid solution into powder,” the scientist was quoted as saying by a web portal.
The mastermind behind the technique is Evgeny Moskalev, who was first able to produce vodka into a “dry” form, supposedly to make it easier for consumer to calculate an exact dosage. After the transformation, the “dry” vodka (or whiskey, or beer) can fit easily into bag or even your pocket.
Screw underage drinking, it’s all about thizzin’.