I haven’t had access to a computer for a couple of days, hence the lack of posts. I think the last post was made on Thursday. Damn, too long! Oh well, reviews, chris ons, and miscellaneous are on their way. Enjoy!
Chris
All posts by Chris DeCarlo
Funny Pic of the Day
Chris
Top Ten Albums of All Times
1) Lou Reed- Metal Machine Music (1975)
2) Neil Young- Trans (1982)
3) Beach Boys- Stars and Stripes Volume 1 (1996)
4) John and Yoko- Two Virgins (1968)
5) Neil Young- Everybody’s Rockin (1983)
6) Beastie Boys- The Mix-Up (2007)
7) William Shatner- The Transformed Man (1968)
8) Andrew W.K.- 55 Cadillac (2009)
9) Simpsons Christmas Boogie (?)
10) Tiny Tim- God Bless Tiny Tim (1968)
Chris
# 2 is the Loneliest Number…
Friedrich Engels– the other dude that wrote the Communist Manifesto.
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Buzz Aldrin– the second man on the moon.
Robin– well, he’s just a bitch.
Chris
Weirdest Dream Ever!
Ok, so randomly, I’m at the Wakefield Bowladrome and I see some sexy hunny from High School, as she’s placing her bowling shoes on her cute feet. I ask her general questions, like “how’s school going?” and blah blah blah. For some strange reason, I’m not there to bowl, but to attend a concert?! I know wtf?! The arcade, vending machine section was all knocked down and instead there’s just a blank space for bands to play shows. As it turns out, this isn’t just any old concert, but it’s none other than America’s worst nightmare, himself…. G.G. Allin! So, a few friends (I don’t even know who) and I are in the front and the Murder Junkies are all ready to go, minus jeje, and some diehard, frightening fans are surrounding us and are going nuts! The place is packed and the “kill myself for you GG!” creeps are chanting what’s left of their lungs out for their messiah. He arrives and all hell breaks loose. Immediately, he smashes one of his follower’s in the face with the mic, there’s blood gushing everywhere. Moshing like crazy, I’m thrown from one side of the room to the other. My comrades and I are thinking, let’s get the fuck outta here! But, then again we don’t want to look like pussies! Shit. Amidst the mayhem, my lip is busted open, but not too too bad. GG starts getting pissed, for one reason or another and he heaves a bowling ball at the crowd. Fortunately, in his, drunken, sprung out on heroin state, he has awful aim and completely misses anyone. As he is, undressing himself, the Cops show up and arrest him.
That was my dream. We probably wouldn’t survive a real G.G. show haha.
Chris
Mind Melting Mondays!
Chris
Classic Album Review: Misbehavin
Artist: Spaceshits
Full Title: Misbehavin’
Year: 1998
Label: Sympathy For the Record Industry
Grade: A/A-
Tracks:
1) Can’t Fool With Me– 9
2) We Know Where the Girls Are– 9
3) C’mon Let’s Suicide- 8
4) Won’t Bring You Back- 8
5) I’m In Love– 9
6) Jungle Beauty- 8
7) Turn Off the Radio– 9
8) Piss On Your Grave– 9
9) She’s A Bad Luck Charm- 8
10) 60 Nights Of Boredom- 8
11) Creepy Says- 8
12) Kill Me- 8
13) Tell Me Your Name– 10 Saved the Best for Last!
Comments: Before the Shrines, before the King Khan & BBQ Show, hell before the names King Khan and BBQ meant anything to the music world, there was the notorious Spaceshits! I know some of y’all are familiar with their name because they were “crazy” and constantly blacklisted, which is true, but unlike most performers that rely on childish antics like food fights, the shits had the music to back it up, they had their shit together! Misbehavin’ opens with “Can’t Fool With Me,” a fast, catchy, Rock and Roll number, pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the record. Mark “Creepy” Sultan lol primarily takes care of the vocal duties and he demonstrates some of his best screaming, shouting, and straight up singing on this album. The soulful, delicate, “Into the Snow” like vocals are nowhere to be seen. The fun continues with the second track, “We Know Where the Girls Are,” a tune that must have got the Canadian, garage rock, femme enthusiasts racing to the dancefloor! Most of the songs are about the hunnies and rockin and dancing and what not, you know the good stuff, Chuck Berry style, but ocassionally you witness some fucked up, but hilarious themes relating to death, as seen in “C’mon Let’s Suicide,” “Kill Me,” and “Piss On Your Grave,” which has now become my new favorite insult. The LP closes on it’s highest note with “Tell Me Your Name,” a track not as fast or as loud as the previous rockers, but still heavy and tremendously danceable. All in all, this is one of the best Rock records you can find, it’s everything great Rock and Roll should offer. Essentially, we have sped up versions of 50s-60s Rock and Roll, definitely not the most original artistic expression out there, but certainly the funnest!
Chris
Subversive Book Club Review: Hell’s Angels
Author: Hunter S. Thompson
Full Title: Hell’s Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs
Year: 1966
Grade: A/A-
Comments/ Why Subversive?: Thank God for Hunter S. Thompson. Being a major Thompson fan, I am of course massively biased in my opinion; in other words, whenever reading his works, I can never find anything bad to say about them, even if I know they exist, I feel like his writing is so superb and entertaining (the most entertaining perhaps) it eliminates any flaws. This was Thompson’s breakthrough hit and introduced the world to the off the walls, up and close, brazen and savagely honest, Gonzo “journalist.” Though, Gonzo guys and girls should know, that said style is not utilized in this work, but the sarcasm and brutality are all there. Clearly, Thompson is unique in that few other media players would sacrifice their souls by riding with the Hell’s Angels for over a year to attain a personal look at the Outlaw, Criminal Gang. And he does just that, we are taken on an unsettling trip into the seedy, scummy underbelly of the Angels’: Gang Rapes, Murder, Theft, Riots, and the whole nine. The violent gang in many ways are just as American as the Cunningham’s, just “more honest,” as Thompson would say. They are individualists (though Thompson disagrees with this), do as they feel and stand up for what they think is right; basically the flipside of the Lone Ranger, Old Western Cowboy type, who stands for justice. Without a doubt, the Angels are a fascinating crew, the Ugly, Low Life of America.
Chris
Classic Film Reviews
Ok, so whenever we see new movies at the theaters we write up reviews for them. When we hear new albums, we crank out reviews for them. In addition to new releases, we critique older, “classic” records as well. So, considering this, I figured we, or at least I, should review classic films we view for the first time or whatever. But, I do not plan on writing full fledged reviews here, just a quick blurb and a grade. So, here are two films I recently saw for the very first time this past week.
Platoon:
Director: Oliver Stone
Year: 1986
Grade: A, Stone effectively transforms his own miserable experienes of Vietnam into an ugly, but realistic look at the inhumanity of War and it’s effect on man; absolutely deserved the Academy Award for Best Picture that it obtained.
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From Dusk Till Dawn:
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Year: 1996
Grade: A, Fun, bizarre action/horror/gangster/vampire flick from Rodriguez and Tarantino (writer, co-star with George Clooney); it’s a straight up ‘guy’ flick with blood, bullets, boobs and basterd vampires, not of the pussy twilight variety, but real serious motherfuckers. Oh and Salma Hayek….
Chris
MAKE YOUR OWN MY LAI!
JOIN THE MILITARY TODAY AND KILL AS MANY CATS AS YOU CAN! ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT DIPLOMACY…
Chris
Kids Like You & Me (KLYAM) 