You don’t get this kind of shit in the mainstream. That’s why I love IT. Except when it comes to revoking abortions. He fails there.
Category Archives: rant
Ben’s Summer Movie Round Up
In order of when I saw them…oh, and spoiler alert.
“Star Trek” – 8
Great effects, acting, and, for the most part, writing. Good balance of honoring the franchise’s past and updating it. And take it from me, who’s pretty unfamiliar with the franchise: you don’t need to be a hardcore fan to enjoy this movie.
Two quibbles: Nero’s revenge story is a little too similar to Khan’s. I know this is *supposed* to be unoriginal but come on. Also…how is beaming Kirk and Sulu in mid-air ANY different from getting Spock’s mom?
“Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” – 7
The kids are much better at acting this time around. The effects are great as always. The script does a decent job condensing the infamously long book to the bare essentials. But the movie also has three big, er, “conditions,” all having to do with the writing.
1) Unoriginality: Again, I know it’s a sequel, but come on. I liked the “Chosen One Destined to Destroy the Devil” story better when it was the story of Hercules, Jesus, The Lord of the Rings, Narnia, “Star Wars,” “The Matrix,” and every superhero ever. At least the chosen one, Harry is much more likable than he is in the books since they cut out just enough Live Journal teen angst to make him sympathetic instead of irritating.
2) Laziness: Magic is already the ultimate deus ex machina, but a room that turns into whatever you need it to be? Good luck potion that Harry idiotically finishes in one chug? Come on.
3) Totally contrived romantic tension: Alright, I can handle Ron and Hermoine. They didn’t even hug at the end of the second movie, remember? But when the *Hell* did Harry and Ginny start liking each other like that? Not “Chamber of Secrets,” that’s for sure. Well hey, Harry *is* the Messiah, so throw him a girl by story’s end. If Ron can score with Matt Hurton’s girl by chewing scenery and whining, it’s only fair the chosen one gets to spoon his best friend’s sister.
“(500) Days of Summer” – 10
It’s everything DeCarlo hypes it up to be and then some. And fortunately, the movie has much more going for it than the brief, barely-noticeable inclusion of a Black Lips song. All K.L.Y.A.M. readers got here by searching “Black Lips,” right?
But seriously now…out of the three movies I saw this summer this was the most emotionally powerful…and this is coming from someone who teared up when I first read of Dumbledore’s death. The hero, Tom, may be a little selfish and idealistic, but that doesn’t stop us from feeling sorry for him when the girl of his dreams doesn’t exactly return the favor. But we also laugh with him at the happier moments of the journey. As for the title character…she’s a better villain than Nero, Voldemort, and Draco Malfoy put together.
Another big perk is the storytelling method. The film takes a cue from Tarantino and puts the 500-day plot in shuffle mode. It’s striking, watching an awkward visit to Ikea only to flash back to a much more fun time, with the same people, at the same place. Tom’s surreal fantasies illustrate his emotions, from the pure bliss of the Hall and Oates number to the tragedy of the foreign art film. The montage of supporting characters’ definitions of love illustrates the movie’s heart-breaking thesis: that when a couple has two different definitions, it won’t work out.
Reflections On Summer Reading
I can honestly say that I feel for those high-schoolers who right as I am typing this are scrambling to complete their summer assignments. Finishing stuff on the last day before school started was an annual tradition (up until last year when I completed roughly 1/3 of my work in the morning of the first day ) for me. Waiting ’til the last minute wasn’t a particularly bad thing, though. The saying of the words “I’m done” thirty minutes before heading to school is amongst the greatest of adolescent feelings. Completing everything days and weeks in advance of school is a bit anti-climatic, no? This year I don’t have to worry about any of the shit that I had to worry about for four straight summers! It’s truly amazing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Strangely, though, I wouldn’t necessarily mind going back to high school per se, provided there were no summer assignments to discuss. I have nothing to compare to not going back there. Anyway, as classes soon start, I soon will have to worry. It’s been a top-notch summer in as much as I read purely for self-pleasure, entertainment, and intelligence instead of problem solving and group discussion. Oh yeah and until this summer I hated to read. That’s what honors and AP English classes (with corresponding summer assignments) did to me. And a final general note: fiction sucks. It made me hate reading before I even had to read. God bless the people who actually read assigned fiction for English class.
Glen
The Whole World Woke Up… Or Did They?
In the simply thrilling Bright Eyes number, ” At the Bottom of Everything,” singer/songwriter, Conor Oberst merrilly declares that the “the whole world’s waking up.” I’d love to agree with ya Conor, man, but the cynical side of me must toss you off the cloud your floating on bud. Don’t get me wrong, musically/artistically, this piece and the entire album will go down in the annals of exceptional entertainment. On an entirely different level, I completely disagree with the aformentioned assumption. Clearly, Oberst is referring to Americans waking up to the sad state of their country under George W. Bush and his hawkish policies. I agree, that within the past few years, we’ve seen an extremely rare political play. Finally, people were pointing fingers at the “bad guy,” as they rightfully should have. There was an entire mood of Anti-Bush! Even my grandparents, fairly moderate-conservative people viewed their comander in chief as a bumbling fool. With this new repudiation of Bush it became extremely palpable for a young, charming, eloquent, black man to rise to the top of an old, now foolish, white man’s empire. But, that’s an entirely different story. As much as I hated everything Bush represnted, I know he’s merely a puppet in a grand scheme of century after century of carnage. If you look closely, the wave of Anti-Bush actually painted the man as a sympathetic character. They say the War in Iraq was a mistake… no my friends it was and is a blatant CRIME against humanity: Ma$$ Murder, as any serious political commentator would inform you. Imagine, if the history books noted Ted Bundy’s and John Wayne Gacy’s crimes as mistakes. That would be an obscenity and neither Bush nor any other public figure should be treated any diffrently. The average American, who may have detested Bush, I seriously doubt will mention these basic flaws in their criticisms. Sure, now citizens and politicians alike are “against” the War in Iraq, but are they truly opposed to all American foreign policy, sadly most aren’t. So, did the world really wake up? Nahh, their (american) dreams turned into nightmares and they hopped out of bed to do some sleep walking. It is the job of the radical (the minority) to snap the conformed (the majority) into reality… by any means necessary.
Chris
Veggie Burgers Blow!
Just an anecdote from my new college life. When I got to the front of a longgg line for dinner, they were all out of my beloved, standard hamburgers, so I tried something new with the vegetarian burger. NOTE: IF YOU KNOW ME, I AM ONE OF THE PICKIEST EATERS EVER AND I RARELY TRY NEW FOODS. IN FACT MOST OF WHAT I CONSUME, I HAVE BEEN EATING SINCE I WAS A TODDLER. Anywho, I fucking hated it! Haha. I seriously don’t know how you vegetarians do it. Kudos to you!
Chris
Book Club Review: Catcher
Title: The Catcher in the Rye
Author: J.D. Salinger
Year: 1951
Pages: 214
Review:”If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.” Arguably the greatest opening line to any novel. Well, Holden, if you do want to know the truth, we DO want to hear about it! In fact, for nearly 60 years our grandparents, parents, older siblings, and us have adored it. Why? What makes this novel so special? Well, Salinger masterfully captures an adolescent’s concern, fears, desires and instead of coming off as an adult attempting to represent this mentality of a teenager, he literally writes in the damn lingo of a buzzcock. Goddamit! As far as I’m concerned Salinger ain’t telling the story, it’s Holden who’s’ running the show. It’s his book entirely. Holden has become the Pied Piper for a whole slew of lonesome cowboys: Taxi Driver’s Travis Bickle, The Perks of Being a Wallflower’s Charlie, and that cute radical nerd fellow from Kids Like You & Me. In short, he’s a middle finger to the establishment or a haphazard, misanthropic messiah, trying to save everyone only if he can save himself… and all.
Why Subversive?: Catcher has the unfortunate privilege (how’s that for an oxymoron?!) of already being subversive before you even read one word. It’s subversive simply for it’s reputation of consistently being a victim of Banned Books Lists and Censorship Nazis. Apparently heavy drinking and cussing some naughty words is worse than trying to commit suicide, murder your father, and fuck your mother as we witness with Shakespeare. Also, since some weirdos decide to assassinate (or attempt) public figures (John Lennon and Ronald Reagan) after or while reading the book, doesn’t mean shit! Look at the millions that didn’t grab their guns! Why focus on the select few? Not that Reagan would have been a great loss, but Hinckley’s motives were hardly in the vein of Leon Czolgosz: impressing Jodie Foster. Really?! haha. And you can calm down I’m not advocating political assassination, I just think Leon had much better, humane reasons. Anyway, I’ve digressed into this tornado of off topic subjects. Simply, Catcher challenges the reader to question authority and reject social norms.
Questions to Ponder (or leave a comment to!): What will become of Holden Caulfield? or What became of him?
What ever happened to Jane Gallagher? Is she in any way related to the awful comedian of the same name?
Why was Holden placed in a mental institution? How did this ALL transpire?
Any others?
Grade: A+ My all time favorite!
Chris
Rock and Roll Is Dead…
You can eschew the title, I simply employed that as an attention grabber. Is rock dead? Well, that’s for you to decide, because it means something different to everyone. I suppose. Anyway, the point of this brief rant is actually about the rise and fall of good, mainstream music. Now, I know there was plenty of fantastic music before the dawn of Rock and Roll, but you have to start somewhere and I’m starting with Rock and Roll in the 1950s. It was new, rebellious and danceable. Hell, it even broke the color barrier. Whether it was Chuck, Dick, or Elvis that kicked off the whole show in a big Fucking way is another story. As we move into the 1960s, the bubblegum remains, but it’s still passionate. The Brits invade and take over the charts, Americans fight back. The music of the Beatles, Bob Dylan, and dozens of others becomes the soundtrack to a youthful Revolution protesting Western Civilization… and just having a gooddd time, man. By the 1970s, things start to become too commercialized. Right around 1973. Then tons of shit is splattered at us! We have dealt with shit before (see Patti Page), but not to this extreme. This begins, what Pete Townsend once declared “the fall of the Roman Empire.” And ever since then mainstream pop music has been more or less dominated by shitty, overly mersh music. The 90s did have various stellar mainstream bands (Smashing Pumpkins, RATM, STP, etc.) riding the wave Nirvana reluctantly christened. But, it appears to me that we will never again see the days of music with soul, integrity, and passion in domination as we did in the 1950s, 1960s, and early 1970s. But, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Most of the great music for you is unmainstream, if there ever were such a label. There have always been underground movements and especially uprisings against the corporate ogre and status quo which make Rock and Roll fun and exhilarating like it supposedly was in the early days. Right now could be the best time for music; in fact most of the best music I listen to is from the past few years and yet 90% (probably more) of people haven’t heard of it. I advise anyone and everyone to not get caught up in that phony, retro trend of thinking that most of the great music was from the 1960s and 1970s and today’s music just sucks ass. It is true that the “better” music was popular and dominated the radio back then and modern radio bares no resemblance to that, but don’t get sad, go out and discover new bands or dare I say start your own! Good Luck!
Chris
Kids Like You & Me (KLYAM) 