“A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip,” Raoul Duke/Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
Chris
Category Archives: pictures
Funny Pic of the Day
This is the same shape as the 2012 Olympics logo and it looks like Lisa Simpson going down on Bart Simpson. Don’t y’all see it?!
Even though the colors were modified to appear like the Simpson kids’ clothes.
Chris
Classic Album Review: Microcastle/Weird Era Cont.
Artist: Deerhunter
Album: Microcastle/Weird Era Cont.
Length: 81 Minutes
Label: Kranky
Year: 2008\
Microcastle
1) Cover Me (Slowly)- 9- Epic as fuck! Deerhunter kicks right in with a trippy, psychedelic, almost Pink Floydish triumph. I’m sure fans will cover it slowly over time.
2) Agoraphobia- 9- The first track perfectly flows right into this ditty. Lyrically, Pundt desperately moans, “Come for me, cover me, come for me, comfort me,” thus making these first two numbers inseparable.
3) Never Stops- 9- The flow keeps going. This is a pretty catchy tune actually. As spacey as Deerhunter can be (and they really are on this record) they never stop reeling you in with their pop hooks. Ok, I’ll cease making retarded puns from here on!
4) Little Kids- 9- This track is a bit slower than the others and doesn’t necessarily jump out at you, but it works in its own way. I dig the little bell like sounds in the background. They’re barely noticeable at first listens and yet so vital. That’s what I really appreciate about Deerhunter, the little things you continually discover after much needed ear time.
5) Microcastle-9- Very atmospheric, much like the opener: slow vocals in the background, really spacey. The emotion lies far more in the sound of the vocals than the actual lyrics themselves. I really dig it when the music unexpectedly explodes into a massive rocker. Truly a surprise that makes this track stand out as a Deerhunter classic.
6) Calvary Scars-8- This track makes heavy use of strange sound effects.
7) Green Jacket- 9- As with most of the songs, the previous track smoothly weens it’s way into this track. The highlight of this track is the beautiful piano work.
8) Activa- 8- Not much to say here lol.
9) Nothing Ever Happened- 9/10- Certainly one of the record’s strongest tracks. Unlike, other Deerhunter songs, this one is rocker you can bop to. The lyrics are demented and disturbing, but insanely catchy.
10) Saved By Old Times- 9- Starts with some simple strumming on an acoustic guitar, just like Old Times, bluesy garage stuff of the Black Lips fashion. Speaking of the Black Lips, midway into the song, everyone’s favorite cocksucker, Cole Alexander provides some bizarre, hilarious vocals. I swear he mentions being trapped in a basement, well he would know.
11) Neither Of Us, Uncertainly- 8- Psychedelicly like the others. It’s a decent track, but doesn’t particularly stand out.
12) Twilight At Carbon Lake- 9/10- Fantastic closer of grandiose proportions; just as epic, if not more, than the opener! In fact, it has a reprise feel to it, like you are just picking up where you left off at the beginning and everything in between was just a haze. Simply, the number has a very pop like, inviting sound to it, supported by 50s-60s era vocals, which makes you feel all warm inside ahah. Of course, the experience culminates into a heavy meltdown, as manic as anything else on this record. It’s an explosion of all the instruments and passion these Atlanta fellas have to offer. To Be Continued…
Weird Era Cont.:
Unlike Mircro, for Weird Era I will provide some deep analysis as always, but not track by track rundown. First things fucking last, Micro is the superior of the two, but Weird Era perfectly complements it’s predecessor. With the first track, “Backspace Century,” the ambient, shoegaze flow is continued. In “Operation,” we find ourselves dancing and prancing to it’s catchy, electronic beat. As I said, much of this record shares the psychedelic/ambient sound of Micro, but it lacks in popability. The tracks have cool sounds that are stimulating to my ears, but they don’t make the hair on my testes jump up in excitement, like memorable Rock and Roll songs should do. In many ways Weird Era and Micro are like brothers and sisters and other ways they are their own entities, to be heard separately.
Final Comments/Grade: A-, this is the kind of album that you have to experience as an album, from start to finish to really appreciate. And, I’m positive several, if not many listens will be required to truly grasp the brilliance of Deerhunter. There are pop songs and rock songs and yes even dance songs here. But, they do not jump out and dangle their naked bodies at ya and beg you for acceptance. In contrast, you have to dig deeper. May I suggest, a quiet place, alone perhaps, when it’s dark, just getting dark, dusk, early in the wee hours of the morning before you start to see light. I can imagine this would be a terrific record to lie back and stare at the stars to. Personally, there is a wintery feel to this record that enhanced the beauty of the record. All in all, a kudos to Cox and crew, I hope their musical/emotional exploration never stops…
Chris
Classic Album Review: The Mollusk
Artist: Ween
Title: The Mollusk
Label: Elektra
Year: 1997
Length: 43 minutes
Fun Fact: This LP is often considered the band’s magnum opus and supposedly (wikiquote) Dean Ween himself stated, “I will say that the only record that I ever felt really confident about was The Mollusk. That’s my favorite record we’ve ever done.” I am a huge Ween fan and before hearing this record, Chocolate and Cheese (1994) was my favorite Ween album, but I am now convinced that Dean is indeed correct in his confidence.
1) I’m Dancing In the Show Tonight- 9- A cute, funny, little opener. Funny in the weird Ween way, if you know of Ween’s music, then you know what I’m speaking of. This tune reminds me of little girls dancing with their grandpas at some family function. Don’t know why. It just carries a sort of innocence with it, I suppose.
2) The Mollusk- 9- Wonderfully catchy; not catchy in the mindlessly humming to the songs on the radio sense of catchy, but rather creating memorable songs that become etched in your psyche. Lyrically, this song kicks off the album’s theme of ocean like subject matter. I particularly dig the line, “Let’s be forever and forever be free.”
3) Polka Dot Tail- 9/10- Bizarre, trippy images of whales with polka dot tails, shrinking ice creams, and squishing fans in your hand. Yeah, I know crazy, but Ween’s uplifting music satisfies the ears so much that you just take it all in; no questions asked.
4) I’ll Be Your Johnny On the Spot- 8- Unlike, the first three tracks, this number is fast paced and not as humorous.
5) Mutilated Lips- 9- Of course, it’s fucked up, it’s the Ween boys. For a song with such a violent title, this tune is actually quite satisfying to my mutilated ears.
6) The Blarney Stone- 9- Haha, completely hilarious, drunken sing song about fucking some chick! Yeah, not the most savory of songs. This would be apropos in some Irish pub or on a pirate’s ship. Perhaps, the latter, considering the ocean theme.
7) It’s Gonna Be (Alright)- 10- Fantastic pop song! I’ll chop up my limbs to say this is the best tune in the brothers Ween catalog. Sure, lyrically it sounds more like an AM top 20, Madonna love song, “It’s just not our time, but you’ll find a new love and you’ll be fine.” The only flaw here is the brevity: 3:18, which actually isn’t that brief, but still it’s too short, when you have gold on your hands.
8) The Golden Eel- 8- I love how the tempo shifts back and forth from slow to fast and I dig the strange, low vocals. There is some pretty cool jamming going on toward the end. All for this very special eel.
9) Cold Blows the Wind- 8- Back to the more “traditional” vocals. This is a slow number about the powerful desire a man has for a kiss, a kiss of Lilly White lips. Go figure.
10) Pink Eye (On My Leg)- 7- It’s an ok tune, nothing bad, but I don’t have anything special to say about it.
11) Waving My Dick In The Wind- 9- Fast and hilarious. For no apparent reason, the narrator is waving his dick in the wind until he reaches his lover. The old Gee Tar is pretty nasty here. Simple, but nasty.
12) Buckingham Green- 9/10- One of the best tracks on this record. I really dig the sorta low-fi vocals. I don’t honestly know how to describe Ween’s music, which is kind of cool in a way. It’s so spectacular and they switch it up so well, you never know what you’re going to get…. yeah, I just watched Forrest Gump.
13) Ocean Man- 9/10- Good shit! This is perhaps, the album’s most accessible song with it’s danceability, upbeat music/lyrics, and almost Disney/Nickelodeon character like vocals lol.
14) She Wanted To Leave- 9- Solid closer, very passionate lol. If I were “she” I’d feel important. The second half of the song is a subtle reprise of the opener. It’s a perfect way to transition to silence.
Grade/Final Thoughts: A, I highly recommend this crazy, little ditty to anyone that wants to expand their musical horizons and especially to any Ween fans who haven’t heard this.
Chris
Panama City Beach 3003…Forever
Talking and Whiny Voices: Worst Album Ever Made
Artist: The Moldy Peaches
Title: The Moldy Peaches
Label: Rough Trade
Year: 2001
Length: 44 minutes
Just to clear things up, the title is an “attention grabber,” and in fact I loved the album, that was actually my mom’s opinion of the record lol. Anyway…
1) Lucky Number Nine- 9.4- Solid opener, in many ways sets the tone for the rest of the album: minimal, soft, child like vocals, off beat lyrics, garagey, low-fi production. Vocals. Guitar. Drums. Simple
2) Jorge Reugla- 9.0- Funny little ditty (Yeah, I think I’ll stick with this spelling over “diddy”). Vocals are mostly spoken and Adam Green sings one line, then Kimya Dawson repeats it and so on. Then they both sing doo dit doo dit doo… There’s even a tuba thrown in there… I think lol.
3) What Went Wrong- 9.3- This track is noisy and fuzzy and just downright wacky, but it works. It’s mostly screaming and shouting, “Take Me to Your Leader.”
4) Nothing Came Out- 9.7- Maybe the album’s best track, not sure yet. A Complete departure from the previous track and really the other two tracks as well. This reminds me of Kimya’s solo work, but with drums and better guitars. Her vocals are really top notch though. It’s a slow, ballady, love song about our heroine’s desire to be with her man and ride bikes and watch cartoons with him.
5) Downloading Porn with Davo- 9.6- Hilarious song, perhaps the most licentious tune in the Peaches’ catalog. Adam and Kimya and (I believe others?) rock on their guitars, drums and keyboards, creating a fast, funny track.
6) These Burgers- 9.1- Weird track, to say the least. Soft spoken singing about wild hipsters and the “happy pill.” I really dig the 70s kung fu sound, I don’t know what that is, but I like it.
7) Steak For Chicken- 9.5- Another ballady kinda song. Sorta.The dynamic duo share great vocals duties on this track. I especially adore the line, “Who mistook the steak for chicken, who am I going to stick my dick in.”
8) On Top- 9.3- A really unexpected catchy, rap number. Play that funky music white moldy peach boy!
9) Greyhound Bus- 9.0- A simple song about the joy of riding a greyhound bus. Not much else I really have to offer here.
10) Anyone Else But You- 9.7- Ahh yes, we’ve all heard the Juno induced, love ballad by now. Indeed, it is a classic and certainly has exposed the Peaches to the rest of the world and still has not lost its integrity. The pair’s vocals perfectly complement each other as they usually do. It’s an adorable song!
11) Little Bunny Foo Foo- 9.3- Short, but sweet. Highly catchy and inspiring with it’s unpolished production style. And of course, it gives me a chuckle… makes me want to toss on my bunny suit, cause when I wear it I feel cute! I just had to say it.
12) Ballad of Helenkeller & Rip Van Winkle- 9.2- Yet, another ballad. It’s very good and similar to the previous ballads. I know if Helenkeller was alive and had the ability to hear, then she would dig it and dance to it at her Commie get togethers.
13) Who’s Got the Crack- 9.6- Definitely, one of the Peaches’ strongest tracks. Just a great, off colour, bizarre, hooky number. I really dig how the song starts off slow then erupts into a mini rocker, then slows down a little again, then back to rocking, and back and forth with bunch of shouted vocals. Perhaps they found the person with crack.
14) Lucky Charms- 8.9- Not a bad track, but it doesn’t bring that much to the table for me. Still decent and I dig the little, incredibly modest drums in the background. Lyrically, it is pretty funny, like most of their songs, I must admit.
15) D.2 Boyfriend- 9.0- A strange number about boyfriends, Duran Duran, and middle school lol. Just Kimya here on vocals and they remind me of the lady’s voice on those Garment District commercials. Anybody else hear this, if you remember those ads, since I haven’t seen them in a while? lol. The percussion is just simple tapping. It works.
16) I Forgot- 8.8- See 14 basically. Though, I will add, I like how they don’t care about their vocals here and just fuck around. I also dig the weird noises at the end.
17) Lazy Confessions- 8.7- Lower “quality” production for some reason, but in a way it gives the track, its own feel, so I guess it’s a good thing. Overall, it doesn’t stand out though, but it’s a good song.
18) NYC’s Like a Graveyard- 9.4- Fun Fact: This album was released on 9/11/01, so coincidentally this title is kind of creepy. Anyway, I dig the garage rock guitars and overall sound. The vocals are of the punk variety, in a way. It’s a rocker and once again the lyrics make you smile; suckers, fuckers, and retards. I haven’t been to NYC, so I’ll take their word for it.
19) Goodbye Song- 9.0- A good closer, nothing too epic, but it does the job. Very soft and as usual great duet between Adam and Kimya. But, this time it’s unique because Adam is singing some lyrics and Kimya is simultaneously singing entirely different words. Goodbye!
Overall: A, Most music fans will write this group and this album off as amateurish, talentless noise of low quality,but to me quality means passion, integrity, and creating memorable songs; The Moldy Peaches satisfy all of these desires with the highest of “quality.”
Chris
Direct to Video Release Review: It’s A Very Sunny Christmas
Title: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia in A Very Sunny Christmas
Length: 43 minutes (about 2 episodes worth)
Grade: A-
Here’s Why: We join the demented gang for a no holds barred, fun, wacky Christmas in the Sunny style of unpredictable mayhem. This time around, Dennis and Dee devise a scheme in which they can show their Scrooge of a father, Frank the Christmas Past, Present, and Future, to show him how much misery he has put his children through. Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie discover their Christmas traditions and memories are not as wholesome as they seemed; so this year they try their darnedest to make things right. Prostitution, burglary, and constant deception make this Christmas special very sunny and definitely a must see for all fans of the series.
P.S. if you want to learn more behind the meaning of this line, “Did you FUCK my mom Santa Claus?!” then you’ll just have to see the video yourself!
Chris
Quote of the Day
” I knew that I could never again raise my voice against the violence of the oppressed in the ghettos without having first spoken clearly to the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today — my own government. For the sake of those boys, for the sake of this government, for the sake of hundreds of thousands trembling under our violence, I cannot be silent,” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
This was and still is the harsh truth. At this site, there are other thought provoking quotes from King, mostly in his final years, when he turned radical; unfortunately( but purposely) much of this of this wisdom is anonymous in the mainstream media. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/martin_luther_king_jr.html
Chris
Youth In Revolt
This looks like it could be the next classic teen flick; it’s based on a novel by C.D. Payne, which is already a classic from what I hear. Check out both, I know I will.
Chris
Why Top 5?
1) Black Lips- Los Valientes Del Mundo Nuevo (2007, Vice)-
“This is going to be the best live record of all time!” I couldn’t agree more with you Jared. The album begins with the perennial shouting “ohhhh,” then we are held in suspicion as some Mexican dude is rapidly shouting something in Spanish, which culminates to him shrieking “THE BLACK LIPS!” Then we get strapped in for the roller coaster that is “MIA.” Next we float around like Boomerangs until we slide down the “Sea of Blasphemy.” More classics follow, including “Stranger,” “Not A Problem,” “Hippie, Hippie Hoorah,” and others. Particularly, for me the tracks “Fairy Stories” and “Dirty Hands” always get me going. FS is a great dancing number and is the closest the Lips get to a Beatles song. I love how lyrically this song is sooo menacing: “My daddy has a gun, it’s not a toy, but it’s loads of fun!” and yet musically, it’s completely joyous. DH is one of the best sing a longs ever, perfect for campfires. Lastly, the group finishes with their signature song (if they have one) “Juvenile.” Every track is a classic and this is the closest you get to the live experience on a Black Lips album. As with their shows, on this record there is never a dull moment.
2) Jay Reatard- Matador Singles ’08 (2008, Matador)-
This was the first Jay Reatard album I ever heard; prior to hearing this record, I knew very little of Jay’s music. I had seen some youtube videos, but that wasn’t enough. Even seeing him live, didn’t shake me. So, I tossed on this compilation and I was blown away at how catchy these songs were. I know most people will disagree with me, but this is seriously one of the greatest pop records of all times. These motherfuckers stick to your brain! The repetitious vocals, the simple guitars, memorable lyrics. it’s all here. Favorites include “See/ Saw,” “Screaming Hand,” “An Ugly Death,” “Always Wanting More,” “Trapped Here,” “I’m Watching You,” amongst others. Two tracks in particular should be noted: “No Time” and “You Were Sleeping.” These softies are incredible. Sure, they are probably the wimpiest diddies Reatard has ever had the courage to release to his garage punk aficionado fans, but that’s what makes this LP a classic.
3) The King Khan & BBQ Show- What’s For Dinner? (2006, In the Red)-
Baayyyy Beee Why Don’t You Lie like Rolling Stone magazine when they didn’t include this masterpiece amongst their bests of the decade lol. Seriously though, if you are looking for fun filled old school rock n roll, doo wop, garage punk numbers, this is your album. Unlike their garage rock revival counterparts, the Black Lips and Jay Reatard, the KKBBQS, both lyrically and musically is all about the good old times when kids were kids and danced their ass off with the Zombies at the hop. This LP includes numerous classics: you have the great doo woppy sensitive pop numbers in “I’ll Never Belong,” “Into the Snow,” and “Why Don’t You Lie?” Then you have your fast rockers with “Treat Me Like a Dog,” “Zombies,” and “Dock It#8.” And then there’s the in-betweens. Specifically, “Too Much In Love” is my favorite tune and is soo damn catchy. I could complain more about the severe lack of recognition this LP and this band in general does not receive, but then again , I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!
4) Jay Reatard- Blood Visions (2006, In the Red)-
So, you name your debut Blood Visions and the cover is you naked covered in (real) blood; does it get more badass than that? I hope not! You don’t even need to listen to this album to know what it is about. Just look at the cover. It’s a portrait of a man, who is giving you his internal emotions in his music, he’s not hiding anything from we, creeps. In this sense, there’s plenty of vulnerability in his music, but it never gets the best of him. To this day, his set lists comprise mostly (or at least a good chunk) of BV songs and it’s not hard to see why with such essential, vintage Reatard: “Blood Visions,” “It’s So Easy,” “My Shadow,” “Nightmares,” “Fading All Away,” “Waiting For Something,” and others. It’s a pop classic, it’s a punk classic, but it’s not pop punk lol. Great, unpolished, garagey production. Just the way I like it.
5) Jay Reatard- Singles ’06-’07 (2008, In the Red)-
Ok, I’ve sucked enough Reatard and Garage Rock dick like Rolling Stone gives Radio head. So, I’m going to make this short and sweet. More classic, essential singles and new acoustic, low fi versions of old favorites, as well as some of Jay’s best love/pop songs: “I Know A Place,” “Don’t Let Him Come Back,” “It’s So Useless,” “Let It All Go.”
Chris
Kids Like You & Me (KLYAM) 