Category Archives: pictures

CD Review: Cum Stain [2010]

Band: Cum Stain
Release: 6/2010
Label: Burger Records

1. “Bachelor’s Life” – A+
2. “Broke My  Dick” – A
3. “No Hearts/Big Mean Maniac” – A-
4. “Just A Kid” – A+
5. “Vicdumb” – A-
6. “Slip It Off Slip It In” – A-
7. “Smoker” – B+
8. “I Want It Now” – A
9. SuckHer4U” – A
10. “Jack Shack” – A
11. “Cum Stain” – A+

Comments: Just when I thought I heard the ‘last of the libertines’ so to speak, I hear this. Cum Stain. Whether the composers of Cum Stain realized it or not, they boldly described bachelor life from start to finish. Literally. When push comes to shove, the narrator is just another “cum stain on your rug.” This man is a heavy drinker, a heavy smoker, and a passionate lover. Except, he doesn’t actually love you or want to. Well, he wants to, but he figures that’s just a waste of time. He just wants to do it and get it over with. On “Bachelor’s Life” we learn a little bit about the dude. Every hour he “masturbates” and “just sits around and watch cartoons.” On a more positive note, he stocks whiskey and rum. “Broke My Dick” is pretty self-explanatory, but the narrator offers an alternative like none other: “slap you in the face while it’s limp.” Might as well do something, right? In a proto-hardcore punk, let me tell you what’s up kind of way, the narrator reiterates on “No Hearts/Big Mean Maniac” that he has no heart and that he is a maniac. The guy is straight nuts. Fuck, he even invented his own fetish: throwing manure in the faces of grade school children. So, just a quick recap. The dude is in his 20s, but he’s purely “just a kid.” He exemplifies that word, but puts an added spin on in it. I’m not really sure what he’s going for on “Vicdumb.” It seems like he is necessarily stating the obvious. Anything anyone does to you makes you a mere vicdumb. Perhaps the “dumb” instead of “tum” allows him to get away with whatever he wants. You’re the dumb-ass, not me for screwing you and then leaving. Vicdumb. “Slip It Off/Slip It In” is probably the maniac’s fantasies after a long day at the beach. Oh yeah, and everything you learned about smoking is all a bunch of shit. Smoking is for winners and the more the better. Another thing: impulse control? This guy has none and doesn’t care. If you can’t give him what he wants (as he says on the apropos “I Want It Now”), then he’ll go find it. Peace! It seems as if maybe there was a possibility for a relationship at one time (“SuckHer4U”), but he just couldn’t commit to anything more than casual. “Jack Shack” tells of a ride down to a “Gentleman’s Spa” where no (sleazy truck driver) knows your name. I must say, this is one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. The lyrics aren’t genius or intricate in any regard, but the narrative comes across very clearly. The music is incredibly lo-fi garage pop (similar to Nobunny circa Love Visions). It makes you think, too. Is this your average single guy with a job or an unemployed psychopath who has never had any women in his life?

Grade: A- (93)

Mini Classic Film Reviews: Thank You for Smoking…


Full Title: Thank You For Smoking
Director: Jason Reitman
Year: 2005
Comments: This is a great piece of satire from Reitman and crew that neither endorses nor condemns Tobacco, but rather pokes fun at all the propaganda and hullabaloo that surrounds the topic. I really appreaciate this story for not selling its audience short and instead showing anti-tobacco politicians as villians (within this context) for basically exploiting the issue of smoking to enhance their own political careers. And by that same token, the character of Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) is one of my favorites in all of cinema, as he is a great, three dimensional figure with both negative and redeeming qualities. Overall, a very funny and sharp look at an ongoing debate in America.

Grade: A
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Full Title: Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
Director: Tim Burton
Year: 1985
Comments: Write a mini movie review of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. (In a classic Pee Wee Herman voice) MAYBE I WILL! Perhaps one of the zaniest and definitely funniest kids movies I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. Burton’s knack for odd, but enticing imagery is perfectly mixed with Paul Reuben’s eccentric performance as the bizarre man-child, Pee Wee, dedicated to only one thing in life: retrieving his beloved bike. And yes, Large Marge scared the shit outta me too as a child!

Grade: A

Full Title: American Psycho
Director: Mary Harron
Year: 2000
Comments: Shocking. Depraved. Gruesome. Sickening. Those are some adjectives you could use to describe this film. Or…. you could say….Hilarious. Comical. Witty. AP works on various levels and without a doubt is a film that sticks with you for its over the top, slam to your sensory approach. It’s twisted, gory, and for some downright offensive (as with Bret Easton Ellis’ novel, which it is based on). But, that’s the point. This is a story about high class, Wall Street scumfucks and in particular one snobbish, narcissistic man that is so devoid of human emotion he must lash out against society in the form of mass murder. AP takes that story and slices and dices it with black humor, radio friendly pop songs, and exaggerated performances- almost to the point of questioning the seriousness of what you are viewing. This is the kind of movie some folks hate for having an ambiguous message/purpose, but that’s precisely what I adore about it. Well, I’d love to stay and finish this review, but I have to return some video tapes.

Grade: A

Film Review: Machete

Full Title: Machete
Directors: Ethan Maniquis and Robert Rodriguez
Year: 2010
Comments: When I grow up, I want to be MACHETE! (pronounced muh shet tay not muh shetty). As a big fan of the fake Machete trailer in Grindhouse (2007) as well as director Robert Rodriguez’s work in general, this film was near the top of my list of highly anticipated, Must Sees of Twenty-Ten, and fortunately my expectations were satisfied. The plot involves a badass Mexican named Machete (Danny Trejo), who is instructed to off a racist, anti-immigration propaganda spewing Senator (Robert De Niro) for $150,000. Machete, an illegal immigrant himself, needs the money and accepts. As he is about to fire, he is shot at and he soon realizes the whole assassination was a set up to boost sympathy votes for the Senator and his anti-immigration policies. Now, Machete is on the run and the target of everyone from Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agents (Jessica Alba) to covert businessmen (Jeff Fahey). Machete also features Steven Seagal (he actually does a decent job!) as an evil druglord/nemesis of Machete, Michelle Rodriguez (looking fabulous as usual) as Shé, the leader of an underground network to support illegal immigrants, Cheech Marin as a renegade reverend/brother of Machete, and Lindsey Lohan also makes a few appearances, some without her clothes! Which, brings me to my next point, Machete is filled to the brim with buckets of blood- decapitations, intestines ripped out and used as ropes, you know all that good old family fun. Plus plenty of nudity, sex and other lurid imagery. This Mexploitation flick delivers a dish best served cold; in other words it’s a straight up gruesome, guy-action movie of that wonderfully, black/absurdist humor tinged Rodriguez/Tarantino, trashy, Grindhouse revival variety. Pheww that was a mouthful… Machete never fails to excite and entertain its audience because like most Rodriguez flicks it contains over the top, stylized violence mixed with a solid story, memorable characters, and witty, distinctive dialogue, separating it from your run of the mill action pieces of shit. On a final note, I dig the germane content of the film- illegal immigration, in light of the recent Arizona fiasco, though I don’t think this is a movie with a deep political message haha. In any case, I hope to see a Machete II in the future!

Grade
: B+/A-

Quote of the Day- Howard Zinn

“How can you have a war on terrorism when war itself is terrorism?”- Howard Zinn.

RIP Howard I hope all is well in another world. Out of the vast sea of astute and indisputiably appropriate Howard Zinn quotes, I chose this one as it raises the primary question regarding the so called, “War On Terrorism,” how can you end violence when your largest vehicle of combat is violence on the grandest of scales?- sadly, a question few pose on both pro and anti war sides.

Film Review: Going the Distance

Full Title: Going the Distance
Director: Nanette Burstein
Year: 2010
Comments: Typically, I am not a fan of “Romantic Comedies,” with very few exceptions and this is one of them. Though, I did not love this film, I think it is respectable and worthy of some accolades. It certainly has its own little charm in a mixture of affectionate, gentle raunchiness with a practical love story. In brief, the plot concerns Garett (Justin Long), a young idealist/worker for a record label, who has just ended a long relationship, finding himself falling into another relationship with Erin (Drew Barrymore), the (Summer) girl of his dreams. Just one problem Summer ends… and this means Erin must leave New York and return to San Francisco for work. The remainder of the film centers around the two struggling to maintain this long distance relationship while also feeling conflicted between choosing love or following their careers. Overall, this movie is quite funny, but it drags on and does not really bring anything new to the table; it is quite typical and even a bit cliched: young, off-beat, idealist couple cannot decide between what’s best for each other or what’s best for themselves. And having the guy work at a label and complain about how young, cool, bands are not getting noticed is pretty standard and/or expected. The dialouge is overly cheesy at times to boot. But, there is plenty of quality aspects to this flick to save it from being an average Romantic Comedy. As I stated before, the humor is fairly strong here, not the funniest by any means, but definitely offered me plenty of laugh out loud moments, particularly from Dan (Charlie Day), the wacky best friend of the main character, Garrett, who unto himself is a cliched character, but I’ll forgive it because the performance of Charlie Day is so hilarious that it works. Essentially, he plays a toned down version of his character Charlie on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Being a huge fan of that show and that character specifically, this gave me a little personal reason for liking this film more than perhaps I normally would. So, will this be a movie we remember years down the line? Highly doubt it, it is far from the brilliance of (500) Days of Summer (2009), but it is in a league higher than most “chick flicks” and certainly worthy of a KLYAM recommendation. If this is your kind of a bag, then why not?


Grade
: B-, I kind of feel like I am being too easy here, but I think I will stay with this grade for now.

Coming Next a review of Machete

Greatest Concert Experience Ever!

The following is an essay I wrote for my Essay Writing course. This is the first draft, but this is how I intended to tell the story. I may or may not post the final draft. Enjoy!

Sea of Blasphemy

Annually, my comrades and I look forward to seeing our favorite band, the Black Lips! when they come to town. This year was no exception, well except it was. One of our other favorite bands, the Box Elders would be opening. As a fairly frequent concertgoer (roughly twenty or more shows a year), whenever two or more of my favorite bands are on the same bill, this usually translates into a phenomenal show, one deeply etched into my music loving heart. On March 25, 2010, the Black Lips and the Box Elders did just that and then some!
The Black Lips! represent everything great about Rock and Roll, Punk, and music itself. They satisfy all the tastes one looks for in the greatest rock band: catchy songs, excellent showmanship, unmatched integrity, unique character, and best of all, an unflinching ode to youth rebellion. Though, there is far more to the Black Lips! craft than the bedlam they are known for, it is worth noting that their shows are notorious for wild, anarchic behavior such as vomiting, urination, nudity, amongst other havoc inducing shenanigans. As an enormous fan of anti-authoritarian art, I naturally found this quite appealing. My buddies, my fellow devotees of obscure Punk Rock, and I are so dedicated to following music (particularly of the underground variety, with the Black Lips! high above all) that we started our own subversive blog entitled, Kids Like You and Me or KLYAM (pronounced clam, go figure). The moniker derives its name from the lyrics to one of our most beloved Black Lips tunes, “Bad Kids.” The line goes “Bad kids ain’t no college grad kids. Livin’ life out on the skids. Kids like you and me.” Though the lyrics do not directly relate to us, we have kind of made it our own. Only a band like the Black Lips and their amazing shows can have such a life altering effect on a young, frustrated man, boy- boyman, such as myself.
I have heard some folks describe special shows as religious experiences; for Black Lips fans, seeing these Flower Punkers’ live is the equivalent of journeying to Mecca for Muslims. Okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but if you look at the audience at their shows, you might think differently. For the Klaymers (what we call those who contribute to the aforementioned blog), waiting months for a Black Lips! show is as painful as Guantanamo Bay torture. The anticipation just keeps building and building. Three months. One Month. Two Weeks. One Week. One Day. The Show! And when that glorious day finally arrives, words cannot describe how ecstatic I am.
As 6:30 P.M. rolls around, my pal Travis (the guy that introduced me to the band) picks me up and we hit the road. Naturally, when we arrive at the Middle East in Cambridge we are there way too early and the doors have yet to open. More waiting! As if, months of anticipation was not enough. Finally, the doors open and of course no one is there. Typical. My amigos and I like to be the first there and secure our cozy spot in front of what would become bassist Jared Swilley’s stage monitor. To kill time, we waltz over to the merchandise table. Whilst taking a gander at the various vinyls, CDs, seven inches, cassettes, t-shirts, and pins, I spot a long blonde haired hippie looking dude, which looks a lot like Clayton McIntyre, singer/guitarist for the Box Elders, one of my top ten favorite bands and the second group on the bill. Wait a second, yes it is Clayton! “Hey Clayton, I really dug Alice and Friends, I thought it was one of the best records of 2009,” I yelp. He smiles and appreciates the accolades. I inform him that “Atlantis,” is my favorite Box Elders song and he agrees, saying it is his favorite too. Then I notice drummer/keyboardist, Dave Goldberg beside him. I keep my cool and inform the man of my admiration for his band: “When I saw you guys open for Jay Reatard, a few months back, I experienced something I have never felt before with any band, I found myself immediately singing along to the songs, even though I had never heard them before.” Dave graciously accepts my compliments and various music driven conversations ensue. I am struck by what Dave tells me about his lifestyle, how little they make and yet how little that seems to matter in the grand scheme of things. The man seems driven to succeed or more apropos not fall back. Explaining his outlook, he cites a Butthole Surfers’ quote from the book, Our Band Could Be Your Life, but he cannot think of the title, until I tell him. And after name dropping some early Buttholes’ LPs, he claims “Shit, you’re very well-versed.” I get that a lot, but coming from one of my favorite musicians means far more.
After the chit chat, the show finally begins with the band, Movers and Shakers. Alas, they neither move nor shake me. No worries, up next was the Box Elders! and as soon as they start their set the crowd is more than moving and shaking. They play all their essential, brief, but incredibly catchy ditties. Not to mention the fact that the BE on stage are a sight to be seen. Specifically, one cannot forget the antics of Dave as he simultaneously commands the drum kit and plays the keys, and then occasionally makes aerobic movements, when he has a hand free. The highlight of the performance for me is when Clayton introduces my favorite, “Atlantis,” as “here’s a song this kid will like,” with his finger pointing to me at the front of the stage. Without a doubt, one of the best opening bands I have ever seen; it would have been one of my favorite concerts if the show had ended here.
Now, was the time I have been waiting for all year, like waking up on Christmas morning times a thousand and it still does not scratch the surface. The place is packed, sold out and we are ready to go! The entire crowd initiates the universal chanting “ohhhhhhhhhhhh” that opens every Black Lips! show. It is not as exciting on paper, kind of akin to the wave ( but way cooler), you cannot describe it to someone, it simply will not have the same effect as if you are present. But, as the chant builds and builds, you can feel the rowdy audience members on your back as you discover there is no place to breath and you are in a sea of drunkards, stoners, and possibly the insane. Then you realize you are amongst this sea of wild men and women and anything seems possible. The Lips- Cole, Jared, Ian, and Joe hit the stage and launch into “Sea of Blasphemy,” immediately chaos ensues: beers, saliva, and bodies a flyin, you never stay still for the entire show. In fact, you have to hold onto the people around you or the monitors in order to stand up and not die. The Black Lips are an attack on all the senses. Whilst the loud, noisy wall of music wipes out what is left of my hearing, I can taste the hair of various femmes getting caught in my mouth and I can smell some puke, blood, and certainly, unbelievable amounts of sweat. It is like I dove into a pool of sweat and I am saturated in it. Everyone is sticking to each other, when they are not crushing themselves in undeniably euphoric moshpits. Meanwhile on stage, the pandemonium is duplicated as the boys hop and bop around as energetic and crazy as ever. Singer/guitarist, Cole Alexander, ever the charmer, hawks a giant loogie in the air and then catches it in his mouth. He proceeds to make out with lead guitarist, Ian St. Pe. Much more of this “entertainment” continues as they play classic after classic from all over their discography. The evening culminates with their signature closer, “Juvenile,” in which many patrons rush the stage and dive off, just barely escaping the clutches of uppity, conservative security.
All in all this is easily one of the greatest experiences of my life. Concerts are measured musically, viscerally, visually, and as an overall experience. I would say the visceral is the key ingredient in the memorable concert dish. That is the difference between most concerts and “crazy” shows like the Black Lips. It is like an altered state of consciousness, for me at least, for others this is literally the case! Seemingly, time is suspended and everything is possible. You feel more alive than ever, an amazing feeling. If you have experienced viscerally, what I am speaking of, and if you attend one of their shows and are amongst the fun, wild, tornado in front of the stage, then you know what I am saying. I am making no exaggeration, when I say, you do not know what will happen next. I cannot imagine it any other way. And what better a band then the Black Lips to experience this visceral abandonment with?! This all sort of hits me while I am wandering around, practically tripping over the empty beer cans and beer bottles covering the floor. Extremely tired and ready to pass out, I decide to sit on the stage and wait to see my friends, in my dirty, sweat and beer drenched Jay Reatard shirt. “Hey, that’s a cool Jay Reatard shirt,” I hear a voice say. Looking up, I discover it is none other than Cole Alexander. There are about a thousand things I want to ask him, but at the time I can only muster a few sentences about how inspiring his music is to my life. I am sure he gets that all the time, but I truly mean it. Looking back, I think the lyrics to the Lips’ anthem “Drugs,” articulate my sentiments best, ” We’ll laugh about this tomorrow.
It’s times like this I hope we’ll follow me. I hope they follow me. I hope they follow me. oh oh I hope they follow me.”


Not from the Boston show! lol

Concert Review: Those Darlins, Strange Boys, Gentlemen Jesse and His Men @ TT the Bears (9/17/10)

Artists: Those Darlins, Strange Boys, Gentlemen Jesse and His Men
Location/Venue: T.T. the Bears, Cambridge, MA
Date: Friday, September 17, 2010
Comments:
Gentlemen Jesse: WOW! Being only casually familiar with this band, I was pleasantly surprised that I loved every second of their performance. I was as energetically into the music as I would be for most of my favorite bands that I see, and it seems like this same zeal was true for most attendees. Pretty solid for an opening band. I had seen Gentlemen a little while back, opening for the Black Lips. Now, I don’t know if it was me, but they struck my senses far far more this time around. It was just one song after another of great pop/rock numbers of the catchy/noisy variety, and it was quite loud, well I’ve seen louder, but the volume was really essential here. It just gave the music that extra ummph, so to speak… They played an excellent set and were without a doubt the best of the evening, which I totally did not expect, because I really dig the Boys and the Darlins. All in all, the hopes I wished for in my previous post were more than satisfied and I do plan on continuing my venture into these (WE FUN!) Atlanta Rockers’ discography.

Set:
Highland Crawler
Kinda Up Tight
All I Need Tonight (Is You)
Butterfingers
Careful
Word Gets Around
What Did I Do?
Shivers
If I Can See You
Frostbite
Black Hole
Put Your Hands Together

The Strange Boys: The fun continues! With the Strange Boys there is this really delicate feel to their approach. In other words, these Boys can produce an invigorating, often loud and in your face, abrasive, punkified blues sound and yet maintain a very mellow, almost quiet tinge to their performance- a good comparison is Deerhunter, in this respect (not the music itself), which I had the privilege of seeing both of them open for Spoon about half a year ago. It’s like they can channel all this Black Lips esque garage chaos into an incredibly calm release. In terms of the actual sound, it was fantastic as before. In fact, I’d wager that they sound (much) better live than on record, which I enjoy. These guys are great performers and extremely proficient at their craft, particularly in the following jams- “Woe Is You and Me,” “A Walk On the Beach,” (Massive kudos for the gentle, but powerful pause between the soft opening chords and the louder “top of the mountain…” second half) “Should Have Shot Paul,” (classic opener), “Be Brave,” amongst others. Easily one of the better bands I have seen.

Those Darlins: These Darlins rock harder and better than most females one cares to name. Hours earlier, I was amongst a few fans in front of the stage. But, by showtime, the Darlins had garnered themselves a well-deserved, packed-sold out show. They displayed great shoWOMANship and crowd interaction including direct eye contact, going into the audience, and so forth. They rocked out with about an hour long set, which was good, but didn’t include as many of my favorites as I expected, oh well. They did however play such classics as “Who’s That Knockin’ At My Window?” (the opener), “Wild One,” “Red Light Love,” and their latest release, “Night Jogger.” They performed well, but the set was plagued by poor PA, which I don’t attribute to the band, as it seemed like they tried to fix this. Either way, this didn’t stop the band or the audience from having a good time. The show concluded with a really fun encore in “Funstix Party,” the B Side to their new “Night Jogger” 7″. Everyone came out for this number including Gentlemen and the Strange Boys as we all sang along to the raunchy, but catchy tune. With booze and saliva a flyin’ for a few moments it felt like Black Lips kind of craziness (to a much lesser extent).

Grade: B+

Woe is Kids Like You and Me!- H & E Time

Woe Is H & E!

Gentlemen Jesse and His Men:
Hopes: They rock out really hard and become one of my favorite opening acts and I check out one of their LPs

Expectations They do in fact rock out and they are better this time than when I saw them open for the Black Lips, but they do not stand out enough for me.

Strange Boys
:
Hopes: They play a nice 45 minute set featuring most of their classic material like “Woe” “No Slave” and “A Walk.”

Expectations: The Boys are awesome, but do not play as many of my favorites as I would have hoped and play for a shorter amount of time.

Those Darlins: The Darlins play most or all of my favorites such as “Red Light Love,” “Mama’s Heart,” “DUI or Die,” amongst others. They play for over an hour and its one of the top 15-20 best shows I have ever seen.

Expectations
: They play for under an hour and play many of my faves, but not all. It’s a great show, but not one of the best