Compilation Review: Florida’s Dying Party Platter [2010]

Bands: Various!
Release: 5/2010
Label: Florida’s Dying

1. “C-H-I-C-A-G-O-I-L-L-I-N-O-I-S-U-S-A” – Johnny & The Limelites – A-
2. “Hocus Pocus” – Nobunny – A
3. “Shim Shang” – The Yolks – A
4. “Hoosier Twist” – Sweet Sixteens – B+
5. “The Hucklebuck” – Sexcapades – A-
6. “Do The Make Up” – Hunx and His Punx – A-
7. “Wiggle It Around” – Brian’s Dirty Business – A
8. “Cuddle Up” – The Rantouls – A-
9. “Toss That Pie” – Personal and the Pizzas – B-
10. “Nice Girls Don’t Explode” – Garbo’s Daughter – A-
11. “Totally!” – Puddin Pops – B+
12. “Come On Do The Dolphin” – Coconut Coolouts” – B
13. “Shake That Bear” – Slippery Slopes – A-

We have, for starters, a catchy old timers number. Let me explain to you my favorite part. It’s when they say OOOOOOOOOOOOOO and SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and AAAAAAAAAAAA. After that it’s a rock and roll freak out…how all rock and roll freak outs should be, specifically. Also, at the (sort of) end when the dude says “down on the floor. How low can you go? Yeah. Shhh. That’s right. Shhh.” That’s great family fun. Everyone’s favorite riff ripper, Nobunny, insists on you doing the “Hocus Pocus” abracadabra, which may or may not involve you getting low. You better be down for anything. Make sure your mask’s on. “Shim Shang” with me…right now! This dance is more of a slow dance, although it is flexible as fuck. Prerequisite: you have to be smooth. This isn’t the shim sham. Don’t be confused! You will fail. If you are a punk from the Caribbean, then please proceed with the Hoosier Twist. It’s not hard. “The Hucklebuck” is hot shit. It’s both a sex position and a groove. Does anything get better? “Turn off the lights and do the make up!” As you might imagine, Hunx wants to get right to the bottom of it. Haha! That was too easy…but so isn’t the make up! The description in “Wiggle It Around” is telling: “Put your right foot back, your left foot back. Come on little girl and shake it just like that. You put your right hand up, your left hand down. Come on little girl you could wiggle it around.” Sort of like the The Rantouls explain, there is no music necessary to do the Cuddle Up. AKA you are free to do that shit anywhere. P.S. do I hear auto-tune? “Toss That Pie” just keep tossing. Just don’t toss the salad. Yet. “Nice Girls” is, as someone commented, “poptastic.” Pop listeners of today would be like WTF YO? but if we go back a half century or so then this fits right in with that description. With a howl like Nobunny, I thought PP was Nobunny. Gee whiz. There’s horns and shit on “Totally!” Totally acceptable. “The Dolphin” ain’t my thing. It just ain’t. I mean, I might still come over and do it just because, but yeah that’s about all. Maybe I don’t feel confident enough in my dancing ability to venture into that territory. It’s risque. This is probably my longest review and I should probably stop now. The bottom line is that I like it. I do. It didn’t increase my serotonin levels or get me all fuzzy inside, but I did leave with a feeling of happiness. You know?

Grade: B+ (89)