Mini Classic Film Reviews: True Romance…

Full Title: True Romance
Director: Tony Scott
Year: 1993
Comments: First up is Tony Scott’s classic True Romance. TR is a film geek’s film. And whadya know, the geekiest film geek wrote the screenplay: none other than Quentin Tarantino! This is one of Tarantino’s earliest screenplays and one of his finest. His didja get it? nerdy comic book, obscure Kung- Fu flick references are splattered all over this drug/crime thriller. In brief, the story concerns a quirky, young couple- an ex call girl, Alabama (Patricia Arquette) and a comic book store owner, Clarence (Christian Slater) in a fast paced race to sell a shit ton of uncut cocaine following the murder of bama’s psychotic, off kilter, wigga gangsta (Gary Oldman), the rightful owner of the blow. Now, his men are after the dynamic duo and hellbent on reclaiming their narcotics. I’m not going to lie this movie isn’t flawless and often I wonder what would a Taratino directed version be like. For sure, Scott’s direction is vastly different from anything we’ve seen from Quentin and this definitely makes TR appear to be more like your average action flick… but it’s not. Not at all. It’s not the strongest crime film, but it is a fun ride with elements of comedy, drama, and even “CSI” esque televison. I don’t know if that’s just me, but I get those vibes, I often feel like I’m watching a high quality television program. Certainly, the star here is the screenplay, from the first few moments anyone even slightly familar with Tarantino’s style can identify that these are his menacing words. Though let’s not forget the many sound performances here; there is an all star cast that includes Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, James Gandolfini, Samuel L. Jackson in a hilarious cameo, Chris Penn, Bronson Pinchot, and Brad Pitt as a pleasant stoner almost of the Hurricanes of Love variety my heavenly brothers. And yes the action is exquisite, very fun, very badass, I think most action fans will dig it and will be able to easily digest thee other more intelligent matter floating in between all the blood and bullets. Don’t worry fuckheads, this is pure high quality action, not too much to think about, but not D U M B dumb either. By the way, the exchange between Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper (link below)  is one of my all time favorite pieces of dialogue and appears to be quite popular amongst cult film fanatics. That’s one thing I will say about this movie that stands out, the individual scenes. Several of the scenes themselves I enjoy more than the whole feature. Don’t get me wrong it is a very good film and there’s a feeling completion when the credits roll, but overall I’d say I prefer some of the scenes as opposed to the whole cinematic experience. To wrap things up I hope people really do check out this cult classic because it seems like no one has seen it and that’s a damn shame!

Grade: 8/10

Full Title: Blue Velvet
Director: David Lynch
Year: 1986
Comments: Ahh another Dennis Hopper film. Dennis Hopper don’t let him mark ya, it’s so much darker don’t let him touch ya. Don’t fill a KLYAMer up with dread.  Okay, if you don’t know the song “Spidey’s Curse” by the Black Lips then you must be saying WTF?! to yourself, and more imporantly you are a fool! You deserve the ambiguity. But, enough of that for now. Let’s talk about David Lynch’s masterpiece. For twenty-five years now people have dissected the shit out of this picture and with great reason. Lynch sets you up with the wonderful, colorful, suburban, American Dream in the form of the town Lumberton, only to rip the heart out of that idyllic image and flush it down the toilet. Lynch offers us a view of a world most of us have never been close to and pray that stays the same. We see that beneath the pleaseant, peaceful town of Luberton lies a seedy world of gangs, hardcore drugs, and rape. Enter the movie’s villian and one of my favorite characters in all of film, the nitrous inhalin madman, Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper). Lynch mixes campy comedy with extremely distubring imagery of the gothic tradition and the result is one of the 80s’ greatest films.

Grade: 9/10– Roy Orbison- “In Dreams” scene

E-I-E-I-OMG, California, this is your Governor, excuse me, Governator.

Full Title: Kindergarten Cop
Director: Ivan Reitman
Year: 1990
Comments: Okay, this is clearly not a good movie in the traditional sense, but I loved it as a kid and I still enjoy watching it now. I think it is silly to slap a grade on this kind of movie, but I have to say for what it is worth the story is decent and it mixes the action, comedy, (cop)drama, and kids/family entertainment genres fairly well.

Grade: N/A

And check out this video!

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