Artist: Ween
Title: The Mollusk
Label: Elektra
Year: 1997
Length: 43 minutes
Fun Fact: This LP is often considered the band’s magnum opus and supposedly (wikiquote) Dean Ween himself stated, “I will say that the only record that I ever felt really confident about was The Mollusk. That’s my favorite record we’ve ever done.” I am a huge Ween fan and before hearing this record, Chocolate and Cheese (1994) was my favorite Ween album, but I am now convinced that Dean is indeed correct in his confidence.

1) I’m Dancing In the Show Tonight- 9- A cute, funny, little opener. Funny in the weird Ween way, if you know of Ween’s music, then you know what I’m speaking of. This tune reminds me of little girls dancing with their grandpas at some family function. Don’t know why. It just carries a sort of innocence with it, I suppose.

2) The Mollusk- 9- Wonderfully catchy; not catchy in the mindlessly humming to the songs on the radio sense of catchy, but rather creating memorable songs that become etched in your psyche. Lyrically, this song kicks off the album’s theme of ocean like subject matter. I particularly dig the line, “Let’s be forever and forever be free.”

3) Polka Dot Tail- 9/10- Bizarre, trippy images of whales with polka dot tails, shrinking ice creams, and squishing fans in your hand. Yeah, I know crazy, but Ween’s uplifting music satisfies the ears so much that you just take it all in; no questions asked.

4) I’ll Be Your Johnny On the Spot- 8- Unlike, the first three tracks, this number is fast paced and not as humorous.

5) Mutilated Lips- 9- Of course, it’s fucked up, it’s the Ween boys. For a song with such a violent title, this tune is actually quite satisfying to my mutilated ears.

6) The Blarney Stone- 9- Haha, completely hilarious, drunken sing song about fucking some chick! Yeah, not the most savory of songs. This would be apropos in some Irish pub or on a pirate’s ship. Perhaps, the latter, considering the ocean theme.

7) It’s Gonna Be (Alright)- 10- Fantastic pop song! I’ll chop up my limbs to say this is the best tune in the brothers Ween catalog. Sure, lyrically it sounds more like an AM top 20, Madonna love song, “It’s just not our time, but you’ll find a new love and you’ll be fine.” The only flaw here is the brevity: 3:18, which actually isn’t that brief, but still it’s too short, when you have gold on your hands.

8) The Golden Eel- 8- I love how the tempo shifts back and forth from slow to fast and I dig the strange, low vocals. There is some pretty cool jamming going on toward the end. All for this very special eel.

9) Cold Blows the Wind- 8- Back to the more “traditional” vocals. This is a slow number about the powerful desire a man has for a kiss, a kiss of Lilly White lips. Go figure.

10) Pink Eye (On My Leg)- 7- It’s an ok tune, nothing bad, but I don’t have anything special to say about it.

11) Waving My Dick In The Wind- 9- Fast and hilarious. For no apparent reason, the narrator is waving his dick in the wind until he reaches his lover. The old Gee Tar is pretty nasty here. Simple, but nasty.

12) Buckingham Green- 9/10- One of the best tracks on this record. I really dig the sorta low-fi vocals. I don’t honestly know how to describe Ween’s music, which is kind of cool in a way. It’s so spectacular and they switch it up so well, you never know what you’re going to get…. yeah, I just watched Forrest Gump.

13) Ocean Man- 9/10- Good shit! This is perhaps, the album’s most accessible song with it’s danceability, upbeat music/lyrics, and almost Disney/Nickelodeon character like vocals lol.

14) She Wanted To Leave- 9- Solid closer, very passionate lol. If I were “she” I’d feel important. The second half of the song is a subtle reprise of the opener. It’s a perfect way to transition to silence.

Grade/Final Thoughts: A, I highly recommend this crazy, little ditty to anyone that wants to expand their musical horizons and especially to any Ween fans who haven’t heard this.

Chris